"Sperm! The Motion Picture" screened twice at Dragon*Con. First screening was Saturday night/Sunday morning in a programming block that began around 10:30 pm. Before the screening, all the attending filmmakers stood and introduced themselves and their movies. I said something witty like "I made Sperm," to which some people replied "Of course you did," and "So did I, every night," etc. Got some laughs. I introduced Gortz and told everyone that "He and I made 'Sperm!' together." More laughs. Then the films screened. There were some good ones, I have to say. "Sperm!", the short version, went over pretty well, got some laughs. Then the attending filmmakers were invited down to speak about their films, and since "Sperm!" was the last to screen, it was still appallingly fresh in peoples' minds, so someone asked what was the inspiration.
Apparently, that lit me on fire and I was in rare form. I used to not so much date but sleep with a woman who was slightly cruel and bigoted, but who had nice tits and waxed her pussy. So I would sleep with her. One night I was doing her and I realized I didn't really like her all that much, so I couldn't come. But she came three times, and thought I was a machine. I resolved to stop sleeping with her. About three weeks later, I did stop. My problem was that I was fascinated by her waxed pussy. I found it quite aesthetically pleasing. The point was, I couldn't achieve sexual climax, because I was thinking about how I didn't really like her all that much. She would talk smack about me behind my back, for instance. She made fun of me because I knitted myself a pair of wool socks. She didn't like that I painted saws. She would joke about physically challenged and homeless people. But what a pussy! So I drew a little comic strip about a man who can't come. From that was born the movie. Anyway, that's the short version of what I told them. Got some laughs from the audience. Gortz took the microphone from me and remarked that I had shocked him twice in his life-- first time was when he started getting the drawings I was doing for the film, and second time was hearing me use the phrase "waxed pussy" at least five times in a room full of about 200 strangers. (I don't know how many people were there, nor do I know how many times I used that particular phrase.)
The other filmmakers made some remarks about their films, and it was all fun to hear.
There are some photos of the event, snapped by my good friend Chris Wisnia of Tabloia fame, who attended but left as soon as my story was over:
Me hijacking the discussion.
I won't shut up.
Not sure what this is, but I seem to be the center of attention.
Bad picture of Gortz telling everyone how appalled he is by my tawdry behavior.
Hope no one got it on video!
Hopefully I will blog more thoroughly about this event at a later time, because there is more to tell, good stuff, not just this crap I wrote on here. For now I am quite ready to do something else.