Wednesday, December 12, 2007
EXCLUSIVE! JESSICA ALBA CARRYING MIKE HUCKABEE'S LOVECHILD!
My sources tell me that smoldering Republican presidential hopeful Mike "F*ckabee" Huckabee is furious with starlet Jessica Alba over her recent pregnancy announcement! F*ckabee is worried that the news might derail his insurgent presidential campaign! Upon hearing the announcement, F*ckabee, who was romantically linked to the divine Ms Alba as recently as whenever this dubious photo was taken (I think it was a Lakers game-- look at the intensity in F*ckabee's eyes as he cheers on his beloved basketballers!), is alleged to have flown into a rage, complaining that Alba assured him that she was "on the pill," and he had nothing to worry about! Apparently, F*ckabee is no fan of condoms because he says they limit the sensation of pleasure, and believes that since it's the woman who gets pregnant, it's her responsibility to take measures to prevent it!
F*ckabee's attitude has left Ms Alba, who dreams of one day being First Lady, distraught and confused! For now, her publicist is insisting that the impending child's father is someone else, but that could change if F*ckabee takes the Oath of Office in January 2008! Stay tuned! For now we'll just have to hope things work out for the best for "Albabee"!