Friday, September 28, 2007

NOOKIE MAN 14,000 at "Funny or Die"

Here's the link to "Nookie Man 14,000" at the Funny or Die website. If you watch it there, you can vote on it. Please vote "Funny" if you're inclined to vote at all. Thank you so much.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

NOOKIE MAN 14,000

I'm still working on a few things, but I just put it up on YouTube to see how it looks. Check it out before I take it down again, assuming I take it down. Maybe I'll decide I'm happy with it as is, and not fix anything. Maybe it ain't broke.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Some decent 1970s movie trailers

I love the 1970s. Actually, I hate the 1970s. They kind of sucked. The pop culture was weird, everyone was joining cults and trying to assassinate some famous politician or musician, terrorism was rampant. But they had some great movie trailers.

Ready or not... It's funny, but it's not a comedy...



The film that dares to probe the black depths of hell...



I love it when they tell you it's "not a film for everyone." (I ripped that off in the trailer for Sperm, by the way.)



Be prepared to live the most wonderful experience of your life...



(I am a big Jodorowsky fan, and I do enjoy "El Topo," but I can tell you that seeing that film was not the most wonderful experience of my life.)

And Jodorowsky's next movie: Nothing in your education or experience can have prepared you for this film...



The absolute attainment of every wish... A perfect world of total pleasure...

Sorry I couldn't embed this one. (It's Logan's Run.)

This trailer should come with a spoiler alert.



Billy Jack kicks ass on the Senate floor. Where is today's Billy Jack? (And don't tell me it's Chuck Hagel, either.)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Sperm! The Motion Picture is now available online

View the complete (theatrical cut) film here. Scroll down a bit when the intro starts loading, and click the link to be transported to uh well another world of adventure, wonder, romance, and etc.

Not Safe For Work!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I'm such a jackass sometimes

I forgot to mention on Sunday at Dragon*Con I met a couple of guys with comics that are worth checking out. First was a guy named Jason Yungbluth, who perpetrates a very funny and slightly offensive comic book called Deep Fried. He also works occasionally for Mad magazine, a publication in which my work has appeared very rarely. See, I have something in common with him.

Second was Charles Moisant, "The Craziest Man in Comics" (this is quite a statement) writer and publisher of Mystery Manor Haunted Theater, which is apparently based on an actual haunted house located in Nebraska.

Here's a photo I took the last time I was in Nebraska:



One of the more true signs I've seen in my life.

Anyway, both these guys' stuff is worth checking out.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

This doesn't seem like a frivolous lawsuit to me.

It's definitely time to take god. Go for it, crazed state senator!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Another tragic computer related death in an Asian country, another story no one bothers to check for authenticity

How often are news organizations going to fall for these stories in which someone in an Asian country collapses and dies from using too much scary computer, so much that he forgets to do basic things like drink water, eat, and sleep? Apparently, the story is just too good to pass up. It's about internet addiction, which is scary, so the story's just GOT to be true!

In China, don't they have a history of demonizing the internet anyway?

At least this fake story from 2005 gave the poor sap a "name." A year later the Washington Post picked up the story and reported it as fact without researching, I guess (8th paragraph). Or without sharing their information if they did research it. What did those 10 people die from, exactly? What are "game addiction related causes"?

How about this this story from all the way back in 2002, in Taiwan? Whatever happened to these people? Did anyone ever follow up on these stories later? Or just repeat them? Jackasses.

I love the internet! I love video games!

Another tragic consequence of global warming?

Here?

Saturday, September 15, 2007

More About Dragon*Con

The next day our screening didn't start until 1:30 am, so Gortz and I hung out at my cousin's place until about 7 or so, watching the Atlanta On Demand cable channel. Atlanta has the best On Demand I've ever seen. They have an entire station devoted to Something Weird, with old exploitation movie trailers, old erotica with Bettie Page, old surreal cartoons, and old instructional videos for school kids. The VD film was narrated by the guy who did the voice for Batman in the Superfriends cartoon show. (I think it was him, I would bet money on it.) They also had some channels with content provided by Ziddio, which is created by users. One of the films, called "Orgy of the Damned," was funny and weird and looked like it had been made by a group of drunken frat boys, but it looks like they ran out of film, because it really didn't have an ending.

We hit one of the film programs at around 8 oclcock, with an Apocolypse theme, because we wanted to check out the film by Roberto Bentivegna. The movie, called The Last Man in Brooklyn was really good (by the way, how amazing is it that I can link to the actual film itself, and you can watch it there on your computer? this is an amazing world), it had a gritty feel to it, and it was brief and told a coherent, funny, and oddly touching story. I recommend it, as I recommend watching his other film, Rest Stop for the Rare Individual. This guy is going places.

After the program we hung out with Roberto and his star, Bill Weeden, and chatted about the festival. They said some complimentary things about "Sperm!", which was nice to hear, since their own work had impressed me so much. We all had pretty similar opinions about the films we'd seen.

The four of us ran over to the Hyatt (we'd been in the Hilton, I think) to catch the new Troma film, Poultrygeist. There was a lot of spewing, and a lot of slamming of big corporations and fast food (and meat eating). And lesbian frolic, which was my favortie part. The crowd was definitely into it.

Then Gortz and I had to get back to the Learning Center for the second and final screening of "Sperm!", this time the long version. The long version is about 11 minutes, and while I think it's fine for sitting at home and watching on your tv, it was too much for a crowd at 1:45 am. In fairness to us, the sound wasn't that great, so the audience might have been keeping quiet so that they could hear what was going on. That's what Gortz said, anyway, because he pointed out to me that the people around us were laughing through the whole thing, they were just laughing quietly. I don't know, I was half asleep anyway by that time. I'm usually in bed by 10 pm.



Gortz makes the scene after the screening.

We made it back to my cousin's place by about 4 am, and slept until 11 or so, because we had to get up and go to the Awards Ceremony, to watch everyone other than us collect something. We'd been nominated for Most Insanely Brillaint song (or something like that) for "Smallinator (The Love Theme From 'Sperm! The Motion Picture')", but we didn't win. Not only did we not win, but that award was given out at another ceremony earlier that morning, so we missed our losing the only award we'd been nominated for. Given my mood, lack of sleep, and penchant for saying whatever comes into my head at the exact moment it comes into my head, maybe that was a good thing.

After solidifying our standing as losers, we met up with my buddy Chris Wisnia, who was going to be on a panel, the subject of which was working in comics outside of Marvel and DC. I would work for either of those companies. Before the panel, the great Peter Bagge, who was on the panel and knows Chris W, stopped over to say hi, and I embarrassed myself by telling him what a fan I was of his stuff, particularly in reason magazine.

The panel was interesting, but I think that everyone up there missed the point, or was afraid to make the point, about what is really killing the comic book industry. And really, why bring it up, since it can kill your career to piss certain people off?

Anyway, the important thing is that Chris W looked really good, and if you want proof of that, just check out this picture taken with my camera by Gortz:



I think I have a bit of a crush on him, and with that look how could I not?



The full panel, sorry the only people whose names I remember are Chris W and Peter Bagge, who is seated to Chris W's left. The others were all good people. The guy on the far right side of the picture made what I thought was an insightful comment about bit torrenting being a good promotional tool. Like I said, can't remember his name.

Later that night I dropped Gortz off at the airport and went back to my cousin's place. He put me to work unloading the U-Haul they'd driven back from Indiana (they're in the process of moving). It was refreshing to put in a couple of solid hours of manual labor after staying up until all hours going to screenings and being a general jackass.

Next morning I hit the road for an eventful drive home that I will hopefully write about at some point in the future. Sneak preview: I almost passed out in Illinois. No kidding.

Friday, September 14, 2007

One of the Dirtiest Comics I've Ever Seen

Can be found right here. And it's not safe for work!

[UPDATE 1/22/08: I removed this filthy dirty comic from the webcomics site that was hosting it, and I'm still deciding what to do with it. I'm afraid if I post it on blogger it will violate their terms of use. I need to do some research.]

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Hasn't Barry Malzberg covered this?

I saw this story on yahoo and thought of Barry Malzberg, one of my favorite writers. Two of his best books, Beyond Apollo and The Falling Astronauts, deal with this very topic.

Seriously, "The Astronaut Health Review Committee"? That's something Malzberg would come up with. I wonder if anyone at NASA reads him, and is playing a joke or something?

A Little Bit About Dragon*Con-- Night of the First Screening of "Sperm! The Motion Picture"

"Sperm! The Motion Picture" screened twice at Dragon*Con. First screening was Saturday night/Sunday morning in a programming block that began around 10:30 pm. Before the screening, all the attending filmmakers stood and introduced themselves and their movies. I said something witty like "I made Sperm," to which some people replied "Of course you did," and "So did I, every night," etc. Got some laughs. I introduced Gortz and told everyone that "He and I made 'Sperm!' together." More laughs. Then the films screened. There were some good ones, I have to say. "Sperm!", the short version, went over pretty well, got some laughs. Then the attending filmmakers were invited down to speak about their films, and since "Sperm!" was the last to screen, it was still appallingly fresh in peoples' minds, so someone asked what was the inspiration.

Apparently, that lit me on fire and I was in rare form. I used to not so much date but sleep with a woman who was slightly cruel and bigoted, but who had nice tits and waxed her pussy. So I would sleep with her. One night I was doing her and I realized I didn't really like her all that much, so I couldn't come. But she came three times, and thought I was a machine. I resolved to stop sleeping with her. About three weeks later, I did stop. My problem was that I was fascinated by her waxed pussy. I found it quite aesthetically pleasing. The point was, I couldn't achieve sexual climax, because I was thinking about how I didn't really like her all that much. She would talk smack about me behind my back, for instance. She made fun of me because I knitted myself a pair of wool socks. She didn't like that I painted saws. She would joke about physically challenged and homeless people. But what a pussy! So I drew a little comic strip about a man who can't come. From that was born the movie. Anyway, that's the short version of what I told them. Got some laughs from the audience. Gortz took the microphone from me and remarked that I had shocked him twice in his life-- first time was when he started getting the drawings I was doing for the film, and second time was hearing me use the phrase "waxed pussy" at least five times in a room full of about 200 strangers. (I don't know how many people were there, nor do I know how many times I used that particular phrase.)

The other filmmakers made some remarks about their films, and it was all fun to hear.

There are some photos of the event, snapped by my good friend Chris Wisnia of Tabloia fame, who attended but left as soon as my story was over:



Me hijacking the discussion.



I won't shut up.



Not sure what this is, but I seem to be the center of attention.



Bad picture of Gortz telling everyone how appalled he is by my tawdry behavior.

Hope no one got it on video!

Hopefully I will blog more thoroughly about this event at a later time, because there is more to tell, good stuff, not just this crap I wrote on here. For now I am quite ready to do something else.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Two new Ricky Sprague publications are out now!

The latest "Mad Classics" features a reprint of ARGUABLY the best article I ever wrote for them, something about the philosophy behind Maxim magazine being applied to other publications. It originally appeared in their 50th anniversary issue back in I can't remember (October 2003?) and got mentioned in a couple of articles in Time Out New York and the Washington Post (I think, I can't remember, but I have photocopies of the articles, somewhere). Anyway, it's pretty funny.



Kiss 4K issue #3 just came out last Wednesday, and I think it's the best issue yet. It's funny, weird, and demented as hell.



Kev Crossley and Dan Campos did their usual bang-up job on the interior arts, while Rudolfo Migliari rocked the cover.

I picked up these items at Dragon*Con in Atlanta, Georgia, where I attended the screenings of my film, which I will write about at some point in the near future.

And the trailer is up at the LA Shorts Fest website as well

The trailer is here. Check it out now before they realize what it is and take it the hell down.