A one ton rat? Sounds like it could be a politician, running for president of the United States!
The above is the kind of political commentary that readers of my blog have come to expect-- nay, demand-- from their humble commentator (me). But now there are forces aligning against me and my blog. These forces are nefarious. They are cruel. They are the forces of internet censorship.
A little background: When I first started this blog many years ago, it was much more humble, little more than me, a computer, and a garage. Today it is me, a computer, a garage, and some software.
I'll explain: A few weekends ago we had some trouble with version 2.0 of our software. When we attempted to upgrade to 2.5, the latest version, I was told it would cost over $300! Naturally, I balked at this transparent attempt to extort money from me for political reasons. However, the system started crashing. Interestingly, it started crashing right around the time I made these comments:
"Mike Huckabee is a hillbilly despot. Mitt Romney is a despicable, pretty rich boy. Fred Thompson is a sleepy nightmare. Rudy Giuliani is an asshole. John McCain is insanely thuggish. Ron Paul is a jerk. Hillary Clinton is a douchebag. Barack Obama is a lame saint. John Edwards is a dictatorial wimp."
Clearly, someone out there fears the truth. That is why our version 2.0 software is crashing. That is why our servers are down. That is why our message is not getting out to the very people who need it most.
Those people is you, the person reading this blog right now. That is why I am asking you, humbly, in this time of great strange (typo, but I'm keeping it), when our country, our very world, needs my commentary more than ever, to give generously so that I can continue in my cause. I'm not asking for much. I just need $300, so that I can upgrade to version 2.5. Actually, in the time it's taken me to write this blog entry another upgrade has come out, version 2.6, which costs $356! You see how they do it? You see how nefarious they are??? Anyway, please consider donating a few pennies, or dollars, or hundreds of dollars. If you don't want to give money, gift certificates are nice. I like amazon.com. I buy a lot of stuff from there.
The choice is yours. Will you let THEM win? Or will you not let them win, by sending me money. The choice, as I've already said, is yours.