Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A BRIEF HISTORY OF PARENTING:

Throughout history, parents have had their children's best interests at heart. I present now a history of parenting hysteria, for your edification, featuring actual parents' statements, starting with the most recent and going back back back through time.

1. "Get off that myspace, it's bad for you!"

2. "Stop playing those video games, they're bad for you!"

3. "Stop listening to that rap music, it's bad for you!"

4. "Stop going to those violent movies, they're bad for you!"

5. "Stop watching that tv, it's bad for you!"

6. "Stop reading those comic books, they're bad for you!"

7. "Stop listening to that radio show, it's bad for you!"

8. "Stop doing 'The Charleston,' it's bad for you!"

9. "Stop reading that pulp magazine, it's bad for you!"

10. "Stop reading those novels, they're bad for you!"

11. "Stop looking at that painting, it's bad for you!"

12. "Stop looking at those woodcuts, they're bad for you!"

13. "Stop looking at that tapestry, it's bad for you!"

14. "Stop watching those plays, they're bad for you!"

15. "Stop listening to that epic poem, it's bad for you!"

16. "Stop looking at those cave drawings, they're bad for you!"

17. "Stop watching that fire, it's bad for you!"

18. "Stop trying to communicate using rudimentary language, it's bad for you!"

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