Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Will Admit that I Occasionally Wonder Whether or Not it's Actually Worth it to Buckle My Seatbelt

I recently attended a screening of the Hannah Montana film, and was overjoyed to see that my role models, Miley Cyrus and her father Billy Ray, did not use seatbelts while driving. The scene was inspiring, because the seatbelt lobby has been one of the most effective and insidious in history-- it's very rare indeed to see anyone going without a seatbelt these days. It's a statement of rugged individualism.

But this story has practically broken my big, pure heart.

There is a group of people, called "hill people," "people of the soil," or, more euphemistically, "hillbillies," who believe that not wearing a seatbelt is a lifestyle choice. A perfectly valid one. It's funny how the very people who want to promote "tolerance" are the same ones who want you ("hillbillies") to conform to what they think is right. And then apologize for the way you'd lived your life up to that point.

Soon, these people will go after your cigarettes. Then your trans fats. Then your foie gras. You think I'm kidding? Just wait.

Just wait.

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