Wednesday, March 12, 2008

EXCLUSIVE! ELIOT SPITZER'S "KRISTEN" REVEALED!


Forget Page Six! I've got the REAL hot speculation about the identity of the "Kristen" referred to in the FBI affidavit regarding Eliot Spitzer's purchasing of the services of a high priced call girl! I believe I've got her identity narrowed down to either:

A) Veronica Mars
B) The girl from "Laguna Beach"
C) Lana Lang from "Smallville"
D) The hot one from "Sex and the City" (I don't think it's her, since I have a little bit of a crush on her- that's why I show her facing AWAY from Spitzer in my immaculately photoshopped example of what it might look like if he were dreaming about all the Kristens in his life during a press conference or a meeting with the New York state senate, or whatever it is that governors do.)

This is obviously hot and important news that needed to get to you right away, so I've only done a minimum of fact checking on it! But I felt it important to get this to the public right away, because the story is breaking fast, and when it breaks fast, I have to get it to you as soon as it breaks! You can thank me later.

Carrie Pugsky contributed research to this story.

No comments: