Wednesday, May 7, 2008

EXCLUSIVE! Hillary Clinton Announces She is Dying from Unnamed Disease!

PCMR Exclusive story by Ricky Sprague

In Indianapolis Indiana last night, following her loss in North Carolina's primary, and her win in Indiana's, Hillary Clinton announced to supporters that she has a disease which has apparently left her with only four years to live. After receiving hugs from her understandably emotional family, she stoically told supporters that she was dying.

"My hope is that this news doesn't change anyone's opinion of me, or my campaign," she continued. "I mean, I'm dying, slowly and painfully, from a disease. It is a scary time for me, but it's not nearly as scary as what our country's future will be, if you don't elect me your president!"

Mrs. Clinton went on to add that she will not give up, ever, on her quest to lead the country out of recession, and to help institute change, until her last dying breath is gasped from out between her cold, disease-ravaged lips.

Mrs. Clinton would not reveal the name of the disease she has, because she doesn't want to worry her supporters too much.

Obama supporters have been quietly telling me that they think this is all just a cynical stunt to generate sympathy votes and justify her continued presence in the campaign, but are reluctant to go on record for fear of criticizing a dying woman.

Carrie Pugsky contributed to this story.

Photos from here.

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