Monday, October 13, 2008

I Do Not Care About When the new Guns N' Roses CD is Coming Out

I am boldly proclaiming that I could not give less of a shit about when the new Guns N' Roses CD is to be released.

Guns N' Roses (or "GNR," as I'm sure their subliterate fans call them) released their last album of new material when I was in high school. I did not care for their music then. I preferred the music of Was (Not Was). For that reason, I was mercilessly beaten by the multitude of GNR fans who infected my high school. They would see me walking past them down the hall and leap from around the corner screaming, "Welcome to the jungle, fag!"* and then pound my face with their fists, all the while taunting, asking if I felt "knocked down, made small" and if I would ever be able to "walk the dinosaur" ever again. (Come to think of it, for a bunch of punks who claimed to hate Was (Not Was), they seemed to know enough about their music to make clever jokes while they pulverized me.)

Anyway, the joke is on them, because they're all successful businessmen, and I put dirty cartoons on the internet. "Welcome to the jungle" indeed.

*Aside: Why would an appreciation for the wry lyrics and driving funk beat of Was (Not Was) imply that I was a homosexual?

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