Thursday, October 9, 2008


The opposite of “Keepin’ It Real” is “Keepin’ it Fake,” or “Fakin’ It.” As far as I’m concerned, there’s no room for that in MY world, where I am constantly striving to live by my three-word motto: Keep It Real.

If you want an example, here it is: I went to the grocery store awhile back, as I was hungering for my favorite dessert snack, Oreo Double Stuf cookies. I love the Oreo cookies, and my favorite part of the cookie is the cream center. So if you can get double the best part, as in the Double Stuf cookies, why don’t you do it? Now THAT’S what I call Keepin’ It Real.

Anyway, I am walking back to the car when I spies out of the corner of my very real eyes, a sign telling the patrons that the management of the grocery store can’t be held responsible for— well, just you take a look at this foolishness for yourself, kept real here by my cell phone camera:

Oh, hell no!

Oh, no they didn’t!

“You’re sorry?” Are you REALLY sorry? Because you don’t seem sorry to me. It’s YOUR foolish policy, so you damn well better not apologize for it, unless you are being FAKE, which is definitely what you are. If you don’t want to be responsible for cart damage to vehicles, that’s fine. We can fight that part out in court, if one of your damn carts damages my ride. But that “we’re sorry” business is pure condescending foolishness.

That is most definitely NOT Keepin’ It Real- that is Fakin’ It with a capital eff-eye!

It’s tough to Keep It Real, in a world such as this one. But ever do I strive for it. Because I’ve just got to—

you know.


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