Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Should You Be Worried About the Virus Expected to Hit on April Fool's Day; and, What Can You Do to Prevent Being Afflicted?

If you're anything like me, you might have gotten an email from your mother, warning you of the dreaded Cornf*cker Virus expected to afflict many people on April Fool's Day, which is tomorrow.

To be honest, I did not fully read the email my mother sent- I rarely read my mother's emails in full. I skimmed it. When I saw the words "cornf*cker," "virus," and "April Fools' Day," I gave up and deleted it.

I do not engage in the type of behavior ("cornf*cking") which might lead to my catching a virus from it. Therefore, I believe I have nothing to worry about.

If you do engage in such behavior, I would suggest using a prophylactic of some kind, unless you're in a committed relationship, or both of you (or all three or four, or whatever, I make no judgments) have been recently tested for viruses and said tests have come back negative. Also, I would test the corn.

I should probably point out that I am not an expert on cornf*cking. Sure, I've done it a few times- who hasn't? But just because I'm experienced, doesn't mean I'm an expert.

To summarize: If you want to cornf*ck, it's your business. Just be safe, and you won't be sorry. And a tip: boiling the corn for ten minutes softens the kernels, but don't forget to let it cool for at least five minutes before proceeding.

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