Tori Spelling is begging for movie scripts.
The actress and her husband Dean McDermott - who are currently working on the fourth season of their reality TV show 'Home Sweet Hollywood' - are desperate for new projects and have even appealed to fans to submit proposals.
Dean said: "We are looking for movie scripts."
Tori added: "There's probably a lot of writers out there in the audience, so if you have any ideas, we're open."
Of course I have several ideas, any one of which could work for you, Tori Spelling. You can watch some of my films to get a taste of what I offer: An acerbic doctor who "diagnoses" patients by testing them with his "meat thermometer" (we could change the doctor's gender to a female, and have the doctor diagnose people by putting his breasts- I mean, her breasts- into their mouths); a heartwarming tale of Santa's favorite elf walking in on Santa and Mrs. Claus enjoying a rimjob; an eccentric doctor who performs a penis transplant that goes horribly hilarious; a man who is shrunk down to microscopic size and injected into his own testicle, where he meets his sperm. We could change it to a woman who is shrunk down to microscopic size and injected into her ovaries, if you want.
Tori, this is really just the tip of the iceberg of what I have to offer. My email address is in my blogger profile, so feel free to drop me a line, we could meet at the Ivy and chat.