Sunday, April 5, 2009

A Romantic Poem About A Victorian Sex Robot

Some people who find my blog do so strictly by accident, because they've searched for something that might seem a little, well, let's say "off the wall." Case in point: One search for "Victorian Sex Robot Poem" brought someone to this entry, which is not exactly a poem about a Victorian Sex Robot, in fact it's not even close. To that person, I want to dedicate the following poem, composed this evening, in an attempt to satisfy the wants of anyone looking for a "Victorian Sex Robot Poem."

I would also like to modestly submit that anyone who has read this New York Times piece, "Got Poetry" by Jim Holt, and is thinking about memorizing poems "a line or two a day", start with this one, as it contains all the elements of a great poem:

It is about romantic love.
It is about building a robot to have sex with.
It rhymes.
It has sex in it.

Throbbing pistons of love
A Romantic Poem About A Victorian Sex Robot

My overtures sweet Laurel Jane rejected,
Finding myself inconsolably dejected,
A romantic companion I did endeavor to build.

Of ironworks and steam engine parts,
Cured by fire melting coldest hearts,
I designed a creature most amorously skilled.

Every nail found its place proper,
The gears of gold, the wire copper,
Shifting sockets tabs and slots were milled.

The lover was voluptuous but hard,
All mechanic muscle, not a bit o’ lard,
And I mounted her till my lust was stilled.

Who says she’s soulless harlot know not her complexity,
For steamy joints and grinding gears are the ultimate sexity.

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