Tuesday, June 16, 2009

"30 Pills and Counting": My New Reality Show Idea

There's Jon & Kate Plus 8, 18 Kids and Counting, Raising Sextuplets, and, soon, possibly, a show about Nadya Suleman, the "Octomom." That's a lot of shows about "multiples," and I've grown a bit tired of them. I have an idea for a new reality show.

It's kind of "outside-the-box," so bear with me.

The show is about a married, or unmarried and committed couple who have no children whatsoever. They practice birth control. They have no desire to have children at this time. It would be called "The Birth Controllers," or "30 Pills and Counting," or "Jon & Kate Plus Condoms," or something like that. I'm open to almost any title.

The show would follow this perfectly happy and childless couple as they go about their daily lives, without children. It could show them going out to dinner, or to a club, or sitting at home in peace and quiet and being so blissfully happy that their home isn't plagued by hordes of messy, smelly, defecating and crying children, complaining that they're not getting enough water.

My reality show would not have any scenes such as this one, in which "Kate" of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" refuses to give water to her thirsty daughter.

They could sit on couches and interview, perhaps saying things like, "We went to the movies tonight, and it was great because we could see whatever movie we wanted."

And, "We didn't have to go to the 'Children's Museum,' or 'Tumblebugs,' because we don't have kids. We went to the bar and got a little bit drunk, then we took a cab home and had sex. We practiced birth control, of course."

The introduction could show clips of them running along the beach, the woman free of stretch marks, the man without a paunch and with a full head of hair; or dancing together at a club; or jumping out of airplanes; all the while they would say, in voice over, "We're proving that two people can remain together even without having to deal with multiple children."

"It may not be your idea of a happy life, but trust us, we are really, really happy."

They would hold hands and stare lovingly into one anothers' eyes, completely free of passive aggression and resentment.

The "multiple" shows have made a concerted effort to glamorize procreation. It's time someone put together a show that displayed the flip side, and glamorized birth control.

My show would be "the anti Jon & Kate," or "Jon & Kate Busters." It would be awesome.


Debbie said...

Love the idea!

Miss Malevolent said...

Three cheers for your brilliance.

I'm one of those people who can't stand the idea of having children. Gives me the willies. And society calls me a freak of nature cause I am going against, "God's Law".
Yet the real freaks of nature that most definitely go against "God's Law with the multiple births get television shows highlighting the mental illness.

shampoo said...

they could also go talk to doctors about birth control. the doctors could talk about how well it works and that no, it really is not the same thing as an abortion.

Ricky Sprague said...

I'm a big fan of birth control, myself. I am irresponsible, and I doubt I would be a good parent.

I'm also a big fan of Debbie, Miss Malevolent, and shampoo- many thanks!