Thursday, July 23, 2009

From "Jon & Kate Plus 8" to "Jon Plus 8 Girlfriends"

Jon Gosselin, one of the stars of the reality television show "Jon & Kate Plus 8," has had an active social life since he and co-star Kate Gosselin filed for divorce. He has been romantically linked to at least three other women: A third grade teacher named Deanna Hummel, daughter of Kate Gosselin's plastic surgeon Hailey Glassman, and now, former Star magazine reporter Kate Major. I say former, because, well:

Star Senior Reporter Kate Major resigned this morning, Thursday, July 23, citing a conflict of interest between her reporting duties for the magazine and her relationship with Jon Gosselin.

That conflict of interest arose from this:

"I didn't mean it to happen, it just did," Star reporter Kate Major, 26, said Tuesday. "I went to do a story on Jon and ended up falling for him."

Powerful stuff. But, the heart wants what it wants. Kate Major wants to leave her position as a senior reporter at Star magazine to pursue a reality television character who's been romantically linked to two other women in the past few months, after having spent a few years married to a woman who can be described as "controlling."

And what does Jon Gosselin want? I'm just guessing here, but I suspect he wants what anyone would want, in his situation. 8 girlfriends to join him for a new reality show. "Jon Plus 8 Girlfriends." Imagine the hilarity, and the tension- they all know about each other, but they're still resentful. Each of them believes she's right for him, and can finally help him to settle down with a woman who won't emasculate him on camera, the way his ex-wife did.

Every week he could take a few of them out on dates, to the museum, or a dairy farm, or a finger painting class, or the "Ace of Cakes" show, or a birthday party with a bouncy house.

Women cannot resist this man's charms. Seriously.


shampoo said...

Maybe a fun date would be a month in lovely Oak Ridge, Tennessee with daily tours of the facility that helped so much with the war effort.

An aside, exposure to high levels of radiation causes sterility... right?

Ricky Sprague said...

Perhaps an even better date would be a quick trip to the doctor, to get a vasectomy. Why take the chance that a trip to the Atomic City wouldn't work?

shampoo said...

whatever it takes to keep him from passing on any more of his dna. I can't believe anyone wants to have sex with him. he should be hunching a blow up doll in kate's garage. i don't like her either but her childbearing years should be over someday.