Thursday, July 2, 2009

What Is Coming Out of Johnny Depp's Crotch?

There is a new movie that opened yesterday called "Public Enemies," which features Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, the famous outlaw. Famously well-endowed outlaw. Take a look at this picture of Mr. Dillinger, taken after his death:

Was that massive "tent pole" caused by Mr. Dillinger's massive you-know-what? According to this site,

It is also worthy to note that his autopsy photo gave the public the idea that he had a massive penis since the sheet covering his body displayed a prominent "tent pole". However, these rumors were unfounded as it was merely caused by his hand's outstretched position from rigor mortis.

This has led to the rumor that Dillinger's penis is so remarkable that it has been installed in the Smithsonian. This is apparently untrue.

But that hasn't stopped the marketers of the new film "Public Enemies" from capitalizing on the legend. Check out the placement of Johnny Depp's name above the main title in the poster:

It's right over his crotch.

That of course isn't an accident. A lot of people vetted this poster before it made it into circulation- including, I'm sure, representatives for Mr. Depp. There's a reason they chose to place Johnny Depp's name right there, and the title just below that. Penis still sells, even after all these years. Now I'm sure there are millions of people out there who just can't wait to see this film, and they don't quite understand why.

It's because they are, as the kids say today, "dickmatized." What I don't understand is, why did they make Johnny Depp's name so small?

The legend of John Dillinger lives on.

Dillinger post mortem pic source.
Public Enemies poster pic source.


A.Jaye said...

Is Michael Man the most overrated director in the movies?

Heat was a borefest, that one with Jamie Fox and Tom Cruise was a monotone fantasy, there was Ali and Miami Vice. What? Watch Cocaine Cowboys and marvel my friend.

Dude hasn't made a good film in ... 20 years.

But I'll watch this 'cos I like Christian Bale and JD.

Ricky Sprague said...

I actually really liked "The Insider." The only other films of his that I've seen are Collateral, Manhunter, and some of Heat, and I didn't care for any of them.

I have seen Cocaine Cowboys and yes, that is a genuinely engrossing film. One of the best of the last ten years.

Have you heard that Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer are putting together a television series for HBO, based on it?

A.Jaye said...

Michael Bay?


If Cocaine Cowboys was fiction no one would belive it.

TFi: countdown to full i'net access continues.