Last week, it was implied that Aloha was a little bit unstable. This seems quaint now, in light of the story of Ryan Jenkins. Shouldn’t producers do a better job screening their contestants, one wonders. If indeed this woman who likes to eat raw salmon is insane, why was she allowed to appear on the show? Why was she locked away in a house with all of those other, seemingly stable women?
Today’s episode begins with something even more unsettling. Blonde Baller receives a phone call from her "girl friend Cat" telling her “Courtney from the shop- got shot, dude.”
Blonde Baller: “Die?” (sic?)
“That’s- what- I was told.”
This “Courtney from the shop” is the man who the other competitors for Real’s and Chance’s affections called her “boyfriend.” So Blonde Baller says.
She interviews: “I’m just really upset that… he died.” She is crying on the phone, but she speaks as if she could be ordering the chicken dish in the interview.
She continues, “I miss everyone back home and I can’t even call them because of all the drama that’s going on in the Chance house.”
Then leave, Blonde Baller. Leave the Chance house. No one would blame you. After all, your best friend was killed.
She returns to the other women, and seeks comfort from Junk, who asks where the murder occurred. Blonde Baller tells her that it was in Michigan. But Blonde Baller had told her in the last episode that all her friends were in Florida. “My friends are from Florida,” she’d said.
Junk interviews: “How did he fly to Michigan that fast and die? I don’t get it.”
At this point, I will admit that I am starting to wonder if maybe VH1 and 51Minds should have waited perhaps a week before airing this particular episode. Given what happened with Ryan Jenkins.
Junk asks Blonde Baller the question that shouldn’t even need to be asked: “Do you think you actually need to be here? If, like, that’s like your best friend, seriously?”
Blonde Baller: “No, ‘cause his funeral’s in Michigan, so I can’t go.”
Junk interviews: “If my best friend had died, I would definitely be packing my bags.”
I would, too. Perhaps Blonde Baller is just unsentimental. She has her memories of this “best friend,” but he’s gone now. She is still alive, and moving on with her life. Looking for love. She might not get another chance at Chance.
This is all mildly distasteful. I realize that Real Chance of Love is a different show from Megan Wants a Millionaire, but they’re both VH1 reality shows. Did they really need to air the “my best friend got murdered (well, maybe)” episode less than a week after one of Megan’s contestants (allegedly) murdered his wife, and then took his own life?
Junk interviews: “I don’t really want to call Blonde Baller a liar, but I can tell that something’s not right with that story.”
The next day, Apple says “I woke up this morning feeling like a survivor.”
Again, it’s hard to separate this out from the Ryan Jenkins story. Was Real Chance filmed in the same house as Megan’s show?
And when the women are taken driven into the woods to go on a manhunt, of sorts, it gets even more surreal. No, they’re not hunting a fugitive from the law.
They are hunting “Bigfoot.” Real and Chance put their younger brother Micah in a “yeti suit.” Real says something about Micah having been on enough yeti hunts with them to know how to act like a yeti. But maybe I misheard that.
No, I did not. Real and Chance love Bigfoot.
Chance: “Man, we love Bigfoot, man.”
Real: “We are obsessed with Harry.”
Chance: “We always went huntin’ for him man, you know what I mean, and always just had a – flash of a – glimpse of a – ‘I think I see him!’”
Sassy wins my affection when she interviews: “I would never tell this to Real, but I don’t believe in no damn Bigfoot.”
That is because Bigfoot does not exist, Sassy.
here for more "evidence."
But Micah in a yeti suit does exist, and to that end, the women are divided into three teams. First team to find him wins a date with Real and Chance. As it often does, the manhunt goes on too long. One of the teams finds entrails supposedly left by the yeti. Some fur. Footprints. DNA evidence. Finally, Blonde Baller, still mourning the death of her best friend, makes the capture. For that, her team of herself, Junk, Baker, PS, and Doll get to accompany “their boys” on dates. Doll and Baker have been so quiet that they get a first date that night, because Real and Chance want to see their souls.
Their date includes meeting “Ms. Basil, Psychic of the Sole.”
Toni Basil - Hey Mickey
I couldn't find an image of "Ms. Basil," so here's the video for Toni Basil's song "Hey Mickey."
So this episode is covering the paranormal and the murdered friend. Could it really get any worse?
Ms. Basil is a “foot psychic.” She gives “spiritual foot readings.”
Baker’s foot reading causes her to cry. The foot psychic knows her so well. Baker has the foot of a woman who has difficulty trusting men.
Before her foot reading, Doll says “I don’t really believe in psychics so I’m a little skeptical right now.”
Which earns her a place of affection, along with Sassy. Foot psychics are bulls hit.
Doll starts crying because the psychic tells her that she’s had pain in the past (who hasn’t?), and Doll confides that her parents died when she was younger.
Next day, to “get her man,” Apple makes a “sexy breakfast” for Real, who is very impressed. But can she fit into his lifestyle? She won’t answer the question. She’s a sweet girl, she’s a smart girl, and she can cook. But can she hang?
Junk, PS, and Blonde Baller accompany Real and Chance to the LA Zoo, which seems to have completed its construction since the last time I was there. Which, come to think of it, was about four years ago. Or, maybe the producers touched it up for the cameras.
Junk is suspicious, because Blonde Baller seems less than upset about the murder of her friend. The lunch degenerates into namecalling. Neither Blonde Baller nor Junk is there for Chance. Also, Sassy wore red lipstick to the last elimination. That one I didn’t get.
Back at the house, Blonde Baller and Junk get into a shouting match. Of course, on the first episode two contestants were sent home for fighting and instigating. Will these two follow?
Junk goes to Chance’s room to try to do damage control.
Chance interviews: “Junk is good, man, she knows how to sink information in your head and stab it in there.” Yes, Chance said that Junk stabs information. Again I wonder, should VH1 have waited to air this episode? Stabbing?
Blonde Baller goes to Chance’s room to make her own case. Chance interviews: “Blonde Baller, man, you keep tellin’ me you don’t have a boyfriend an’ this an’ that – (sigh) I’m still on the cuttin’ edge about that.”
The cutting edge.
Real eliminates Apple. I would never eliminate someone who made me breakfast in bed. I guess that’s how people can tell us apart.
Chance eliminates no one, because he doesn’t know if he wants to eliminate Junk or Blonde Baller.
Next episode, the women wrestle. My heart isn’t in it.
Blonde Baller pic source.
Junk pic source.
Bigfoot pic source.