Monday, August 17, 2009

Really? Potbellies are "Cool"?

The New York Times, home of "all the news that's fit to print," has an indispensible article about how "hipsters" in New York are now sporting potbellies.

THIS summer the unvarying male uniform in the precincts of Brooklyn cool has been a pair of shorts cut at knickers length, a V-neck Hanes T-shirt, a pair of generic slip-on sneakers and a straw fedora. Add a leather cuff bracelet if the coolster is gay.

In truth this get-up was pretty much the unvarying male uniform last summer also, but this year an unexpected element has been added to the look, and that is a burgeoning potbelly one might term the Ralph Kramden.

The author noticed a few hipsters- sorry, "coolsters"- are walking around his neighborhood with more junk in the belly than he noticed before, and it's a trend worth writing about in the New York Times.

Remember back in February, when men were supposedly growing beards because of the recession? Remember how I totally eviscerated that notion? Well, go back and read that blog posting, but substitute the word "potbelly" for "beard."

Except for those parts in which I discuss having a beard of my own. I do not have a potbelly. And I no longer have a beard- I shaved it off (long before it became "cool" to do so, by the way).

Actually, the current piece in the New York Times is far worse than whatever it was that set me off about beards. The author offers nothing more than his own observation, and a couple of comments from magazine editors. The first observation, by the way, completely undercuts the first paragraph of the Times article:

Hipsters, by nature contrarian, according to Dan Peres, the editor of Details, may be reacting in opposition to a president who is not only, as the press relentlessly reminds us, So Darn Smart, but also hits the gym every morning, has a conspicuously flat belly and, when not rescuing the economy or sparring with Kim Jong-il, shoots hoops.

“If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,” Mr. Peres said.

Wait- now it's "hipsters," and now they're "contrarian"? Is that why they're all wearing an "unvarying male uniform"? Because they're "contrarians"?

Is it too much to ask for the New York Times to at least be consistent in their presentation of fake news, and phony trends?

The editor of Out magazine, Aaron Hicklin, further muddies the premise:

“It’s not cool to be seen spending so much time fussing around about your body,” Mr. Hicklin said.

So it's "cool" to have a potbelly, and more people are doing it (per the author's observations), because they're so "contrarian (by nature)". Just so we're clear.

Anyway, since I am a contrarian to contrariness, I'm going to go run five miles and do some crunches.


Jeffrey Porterfield said...

Dear Sirs, Udder Nonsense!

I live in Brooklyn and can tell you that this is all a bunch of fake hooey, slothful paper filler. Hipsters/Coolsters are largely lazy and smelly, like their Hippie predecessors, but, in the end, they like sex and would not chance on losing out on it by purposely growing a belly. Of course people with pot bellies still have sex but it does reduce your chances when on the singles scene. If bellies are being seen on folks running around in straw fedoras and cut offs it's because they drink a lot of beer and are in the act of aging. This whole notion of "contrarian" thing is also a bunch of bullpucky, as you so rightly pointed out -- They really are wearing uniforms for galdernsakesalive! Is the Times attempting to influence those who not see the truth for themselves? Are they trying to start a belly war in Iowa City or other parts outside of Brooklyn? I am vowing to never look at the Times free website ever again and hope they feel the sting.

Lucydex said...

Whaaaaaaaat?! The New York Times publishes fake news?!


Ricky Sprague said...

So what this boils down to is, the hipsters/coolsters are lazy, as is the author of the article, who is also probably a hipster/coolster.

Everything hipsters do is hip, by definition. That includes aging. Aging includes the physical changes that go along with aging. Soon the NYT will treat us to an article on the coolness of age spots and varicose veins. And, belting your pants up to your belly button.

shampoo said...

I think the half-drunk authorster of the nyt article made most of his observations while looking in the mirrorster.