THIS summer the unvarying male uniform in the precincts of Brooklyn cool has been a pair of shorts cut at knickers length, a V-neck Hanes T-shirt, a pair of generic slip-on sneakers and a straw fedora. Add a leather cuff bracelet if the coolster is gay.
In truth this get-up was pretty much the unvarying male uniform last summer also, but this year an unexpected element has been added to the look, and that is a burgeoning potbelly one might term the Ralph Kramden.
The author noticed a few hipsters- sorry, "coolsters"- are walking around his neighborhood with more junk in the belly than he noticed before, and it's a trend worth writing about in the New York Times.
Remember back in February, when men were supposedly growing beards because of the recession? Remember how I totally eviscerated that notion? Well, go back and read that blog posting, but substitute the word "potbelly" for "beard."
Except for those parts in which I discuss having a beard of my own. I do not have a potbelly. And I no longer have a beard- I shaved it off (long before it became "cool" to do so, by the way).
Actually, the current piece in the New York Times is far worse than whatever it was that set me off about beards. The author offers nothing more than his own observation, and a couple of comments from magazine editors. The first observation, by the way, completely undercuts the first paragraph of the Times article:
Hipsters, by nature contrarian, according to Dan Peres, the editor of Details, may be reacting in opposition to a president who is not only, as the press relentlessly reminds us, So Darn Smart, but also hits the gym every morning, has a conspicuously flat belly and, when not rescuing the economy or sparring with Kim Jong-il, shoots hoops.
“If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,” Mr. Peres said.
Wait- now it's "hipsters," and now they're "contrarian"? Is that why they're all wearing an "unvarying male uniform"? Because they're "contrarians"?
Is it too much to ask for the New York Times to at least be consistent in their presentation of fake news, and phony trends?
The editor of Out magazine, Aaron Hicklin, further muddies the premise:
“It’s not cool to be seen spending so much time fussing around about your body,” Mr. Hicklin said.
So it's "cool" to have a potbelly, and more people are doing it (per the author's observations), because they're so "contrarian (by nature)". Just so we're clear.
Anyway, since I am a contrarian to contrariness, I'm going to go run five miles and do some crunches.