Monday, September 21, 2009

Erin Andrews and Megan Fox Sex Tape

If you're cynical, you might think that headline was merely created to generate pageviews. To that I answer, Stop being so cynical; I actually have a valid reason for writing this entry.

And now, a couple of photos of Erin Andrews, ESPN sideline reporter, and Megan Fox, professional actress:

Erin Andrews.

Megan Fox.

Stop being cynical.

Megan Fox recently made news when she declared she would never appear in a sex tape, and never appear nude in a film.

"It would take one shot of me not looking good, and I would not be able to have sex ever again, because I would always just see myself looking like a hippo having sex."
...
She insists, "I can't ever imagine myself doing nudity in a film. It lives forever, especially now, with the Internet.”
...
"Literally all I have left are my private parts, and I don't want to also share them with the world. I'd like to keep them private. That's why they're called that!"

First of all, "private parts" are only called "private parts" by bluenosing prudes, seeking to cause others to feel the shame that they themselves feel about their own bodies and sexuality.

Second of all, it's precisely because "it lives forever" that one should do nude scenes, and make sex tapes. Megan, you're in your mid-20s now. You will never again be in your mid-20s. Do you really want-- at 60-- to look back on your life and wish that you could see what you looked like having sex at 24? Or at least to see what you looked like nude in a major motion picture, in which you will be photographed in such a way as to make you look astoundingly beautiful? For crying out loud, look at how Michael Bay photographed you merely opening the hood of a car in "Transformers":

Megan Fox, checking under the hood.

As an attractive celebrity, you have been given two gifts for which many people would give anything: fame, and physical beauty. To squander those gifts is an insult not only to yourself, but to those without the same opportunities you have.

Ultimately, however, it's your loss that you won't do a nude scene in a film, Megan. Somehow, the rest of the world will get over it.

Now to Erin Andrews, ESPN sideline reporter. She was the woman who was videotaped ironing her pants in the nude, without her consent. It made her into, in her words, "Britney Spears." In case you've forgotten what she looks like, here she is in a photograph from this month's GQ magazine:

Erin Andrews again. Stop being cynical.

As of this writing, the person(s?) who made the video tapes in question has not been caught, nor been punished in any way. Of course, it has made Ms. Andrews more popular than ever.

I'd never heard of her before the incident.

Anyway, given what she's told Oprah Winfrey about the incident, it's safe to say Ms. Andrews probably won't be making a sex tape, either.

"I think it'll always make me feel nervous, but I also feel it's my duty to come out and show this person, you know what, I worked hard for my career, and I got there the right way and they're not going to break me down."

Andrews began the interview, which lasted about eight minutes in two segments, by saying, "I’m getting better. It’s been a nightmare. I still kind of every day want to say, 'Am I going to wake up?'"
...
Asked how she feels about those who have wondered whether the video might have been a publicity stunt, Andrews said, "Disappointed, especially when it came from females as well. I would never do this to myself."

What happened to Ms. Andrews is appalling, there is no question about that. I am not sure how going on the Oprah Winfrey show to talk about the nightmare is in any way a rebuke to the person or persons who made the videos, but I'm not her. If it makes her feel better, and she has a platform in which to do it, she should.

I have to say that it never occurred to me that the video might have been a "publicity stunt," but as I've already stated in this posting, I am not cynical. Still, my advice to her would be the same as my advice for Ms. Fox. Think about making a sex tape, or at least doing a nude scene.

You're only young once.

So, to summarize: Erin Andrews and Megan Fox should make a sex tape together. For their own sakes. They don't have to show it to the world, if they don't want to. That's up to them. But I think that just knowing it's out there will be enough for most people.

Erin Andrews pic source.
Megan Fox pic source.
Megan Fox under the hood pic source.
Erin Andrews GQ pic source.

2 comments:

A.Jaye said...

Your fascination with Megan Fox is worrying to me. My fascination with Flavor of Love Buckeey is not worrying to me. Au contraire it's a sign of (my) unhealthy appetite.

It's a matter of taste bud.

Jessica said...

I don't get this chick. She says she'll never pose nude or anything like that, yet she insists on talking about her crazy sex life. I think by now we all have a pretty picture of what her "private parts" look like.

Nice!