Monday, September 14, 2009

Poodle Bitch Wonders Why Kanye West Doesn't Start His Own Awards Show

Poodle Bitch spends little time following the antics of Kanye West, who is apparently a genius, at least in his own humble estimation. And who is Poodle Bitch to judge that? She likes to think of herself as a dog of refined taste and exceeding cleverness, and an odor like what sunshine would smell like, if sunshine had a smell.

Nevertheless, she was unable to ignore his recent boorishness at an event called "The Empty V Music Awards," or perhaps it is called "The MTV Music Awards," she is unsure and cares little. For the most part, it involves people about which Poodle Bitch knows hardly anything at all, presenting one another with awards for achievements that Poodle Bitch believes should cause shame and embarrassment, not pride.

To that end, Kanye West was so filled with indignation by what he perceived to be a gross miscarriage of justice, that he was unable to keep his seat. Storming the stage, he commandeered a microphone and had to offer his opinion about...

...Taylor Swift's Best Female Video award.

The rapper stormed the stage just after the first award, for Best Female Video, was presented to Taylor Swift. He cut the teen singer off, grabbing the mic and protesting in support of Beyoncé.

"I'm sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time," he proclaimed as B looked on from the crowd, stunned.

Poodle Bitch was unaware that the crowd at an Empty V awards show could be "stunned." She has to say she's a bit disappointed.

She's also unaware that Kanye West, a rapper, spent his free time not composing danceable music, but creating lists of the greatest videos of all time. Poodle Bitch would love to see this list- she's curious where he would place Poodle Bitch's own all time favorite video, "Come Dancing" by the Kinks. That video actually makes Poodle Bitch tear up, when she's feeling particularly sentimental.

And then there's "Private Dancer," by Tina Turner. Another deeply moving song.

Moreover, where does Peter Gabriel's classic and innovative "Sledgehammer" video fall on Mr. West's list?

Perhaps the most important question is, Where would Mr. West place his own videos on this list of his? Does he think that Ms. Beyoncé's paean to marital commitment is greater than his own "Touch the Sky?"

Poodle Bitch's point is that it seems a bit premature to declare a video that is only about a year old to be one of the greatest of all time. Perhaps it is time for Mr. West to start his own awards show. Those awards he does not win himself- probably awards for women- could be given to Beyoncé. Poodle Bitch's first suggestion for a category: "Best Female Music Video that is not by Taylor Swift."

Kanye West making his point, at Taylor Swift's expense. She was rude to win the award in the first place.

UPDATE 9/15/09 @ 1:45 PM PST: Poodle Bitch has just discovered this item at TMZ, in which President Barack Obama is heard to use indelicate language to describe Mr. West, regarding his actions toward Ms. Swift. Poodle Bitch wonders if perhaps the president could have used more elevated language to express his opinion, such as she herself is known to use?

pic source.


A.Jaye said...

I just got back from TMZ. That has changed my whole comment.

You might be a poodle bitch but your president is an uncle Tomcat.

Did George W ever slag off Kanye for calling him out?

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised no one has turned this into a race issue yet. Or at least, I haven't heard anyone...

Poodle Bitch said...

Poodle Bitch finds it interesting that Mr. West contributed to a song on Mr. Obama's fundraising CD, before the election:

Has the President forgotten who helped to get him elected?

shampoo said...

I don't know what kanye was trying to prove. there were still awards to go and beyonce did go on to win "video of the year" which is better anyway.

I have no idea why president obama commented on kanye's actions (i know he was specifically asked, but still). I think he just meant in regard to this incident. I didn't take his comment to be a reflection to how he feels about everything kanye has ever done. although, the sort of behavior kanye displayed at the vma's this year... he's done it before, so..

in regard to this incident kanye deserves criticism. sometimes people other than the ones he'd personally chose will win stuff. everyone else has accepted that (i probably disagree more with award shows than even kanye, but do you see me storming stages?), why can't he?

the only way he's going to be in complete control is if he does start his own show. I wonder who he'd like to honor besides himself and beyonce?

shampoo said...

ajaye, are you joking? even kanye is criticizing kanye at this point.

w used to flip off the entire country before speeches (not broadcast, but it happened). that'd include kanye.