On last week’s episode of “Models of the Runway,” Mitchell, the luckiest contestant in “Project Runway” history (Poodle Bitch has a dog's memory), assured the models that landing in the bottom two in each of the first two episodes had taught him a lesson. Poodle Bitch was dubious. It was not just the smirk on Mitchell’s face- it was the wavering, simpering tone of voice used. If Mitchell told Poodle Bitch that tomatoes were delicious, she would not believe him.
Later in the third episode, Poodle Bitch would be proven right to be dubious. She would be proven right many times. The setting for the first proof would be the beach, as the designers are taken to Santa Monica where they are treated to two wonderful sights. The ocean, and Tim Gunn in flip flops.
Christopher says he’s never seen the ocean before. Ordinarily that would elicit a rowr from Poodle Bitch, but Tim Gunn is wearing flip flops.
This man wore flip flops in this episode. If he shows up in crocs next week, Poodle Bitch will bite her television.
Poodle Bitch is so distracted by this sight that she has completely forgotten how perturbed she is that Mitchell is still infecting the competition. Alas, Mitchell is selected as a team leader for this challenge when the flip flopped Tim Gunn draws his name from a hat.
The challenge, by the way, that Poodle Bitch was barely able to hear over the din of Tim Gunn is wearing flip flops that kept repeating in her head, was for the designers to create a “fun and fashionable surfwear look.” It must be totally infused with the designer’s points of view as designers.
These surfwear looks that will be infused with their points of view (Poodle Bitch wonders if everything these designers create shouldn’t be “infused with their points of view”) will be created by teams of twos. Last week’s winner Shirin get to choose first, and Tim draws names to determine team leaders.
Shirin foolishly and inscrutably picks Carol the woodland sprite woman. Why the woodland sprite woman would be chosen over Poodle Bitch’s favorite designer, the poodle companion Irina, is beyond Poodle Bitch’s ability to reason out.
Logan picks Christopher. Again, Poodle Bitch is left to wonder. Irina is Poodle Bitch’s favorite. This must be a “bros before talented designers” choice.
Nicholas picks Giordana. Nicholas clearly wanted to work with someone who has a thicker accent than his, Poodle Bitch observers with some irritation over the fact that Irina still has not been chosen.
Mitchell picks Ra’mon. In his interview, he offers evidence that he has not “learned his lesson,” as he lied to the models: “I wanted to work with someone who would carry me on this challenge.” This after last week he just wanted to get by.
Did Ra'mon think this was a good look? Do designers often dress like it's still the 1980s, Poodle Bitch wonders.
Again Poodle Bitch wonders why the handstand woman and the Androgynous Egg had to go so early, so that Mitchell, who doesn’t seem to even want to win, keeps getting a pass.
At least he did not choose to burden Irina by working with her.
Althea picks Louise, since she was “in the top three last time.” She also happens to be a good designer and sewer, as Poodle Bitch would point out. But she is no Irina.
Qristyl chooses Epperson. Not Irina.
Johnny chooses Irina. Irina is the only one left. Poodle Bitch’s favorite is selected last. This brings back painful memories for Poodle Bitch. No- she was never chosen last for anything, but she always felt bad for those who were.
At mood, Mitchell is worried, because Ra’mon is choosing material that he considers “ugly.” Poodle Bitch believes this is sound policy for choosing material. Whatever Mitchell thinks is ugly should be purchased.
Epperson and Qristyl give each other headaches, literally. Epperson complains that he needs a Tylenol, and Qristyl tells him she’s already taken one. Poodle Bitch can see that Epperson and Qristyl are headed for trouble, and will likely play a large role in the end of the episode.
Surely, Poodle Bitch wonders, It won’t be Epperson and Qristyl in the bottom two? Will Mitchell pass into the next round?
Three hours before the end of the day, Tim tells the teams they have to create an “avante garde” design to correspond to their present looks. This is a message from Heidi and the judges- Tim would never pull this type of dirty trick.
Qristyl is insulted that Epperson is taking over their team. Apparently, Qristyl doesn’t pay attention to her own designs, because she needs Epperson to take over their team. Poodle Bitch would like to remind Qrystil that it was only by luck of the draw that she ended up as a team captain. She would also like to inform Qristyl that having an unusually designed name makes her a good designer. All it does is make Poodle Bitch irritated about having to type it.
Mitchell moans that he has a lot of good ideas, but he doesn’t have the skills to execute them. Poodle Bitch thinks that he is half right- he has a lot of bad ideas, but doesn’t have the skills to execute them.
Ra’mon moans that Mitchell isn’t even trying to win. A lack of focus? Inability to sew? Yes to both. When Nicholas jokes that he can’t wait to see Mitchell go, Mitchell is so lacking in seriousness that he laughs along with him. Poodle Bitch points to this as yet another sign that he has not learned his lesson, despite the lie he told the models.
Tim says that Mitchell’s and Ra’mon’s designs look like a superhero and a Greek goddess. Ra’mon scraps his wetsuit-inspired jumpsuit, and comes up with something totally different, using material that looks to Poodle Bitch like something from which one might fashion a chew toy. Poodle Bitch approves of this.
Ra’mon is working on both pieces, and “trying to keep Mitchell focused.” This is unfair, as he complains, and he’s right.
Tim tells him to resurrect the scuba suit. 35 minutes before the runway show, Ra’mon is still dying chew toy fabric for his “avant garde” look.
Qrystil interviews that she will throw Epperson under the bus. She will tell the judges that she had everything worked over by Epperson. Poodle Bitch wonders why it is that Qristyl thinks this is a sound strategy. To admit that you, as the team leader, were walked on by your partner is Mitchell strategy.
Guest judges Max Azria and Rachel Bilson. Poodle Bitch has little so say about this, except to point out that Max Azria designs clothing with Miley Cyrus, and Rachel Bilson wears clothing like this:
Poodle Bitch actually does not hate this look. Rachel Bilson is significantly more stylish than the guest judge of the first episode, Lindsay Lohan.
Poodle Bitch doesn’t appreciate Johnny’s influence over her favorite Irina. Nonetheless, their designs are Poodle Bitch’s favorite.
Ra’mon is in shock that his and Mitchell’s team is in the top two with Poodle Bitch’s beloved Irina and her negative influence Johnny. Poodle Bitch thinks it is safe to say that most viewers share that feeling.
Mitchell admits on the runway that Ra’mon did pretty much everything. Clearly, he has given up. Poodle Bitch feels almost sorry for him, except that he took a spot on the show that might have been taken by someone with real talent and drive, who would have made the most of the opportunity. Poodle Bitch therefore feels more resentment than pity.
Heidi is shocked. Poodle Bitch wonders where Heidi has been the last two weeks.
Heidi complains she doesn’t know how to judge Mitchell, if he’s not doing his own sewing. Heidi- Poodle Bitch again wonders why did you keep him around?
Ra’mon is declared the winner of the challenge. His designs are in no way superior to Irina’s and Johnny’s, but he gets the pity vote for having to carry the challenged Mitchell. The bottom two are Mitchell (surprise!) and Qristyl. Mitchell is finally eliminated. He shouldn’t have lasted this long, but Poodle Bitch has to admit that she would not have minded seeing Qristyl go as well. Poodle Bitch does not like her name.
Max Azria mumbles something about Mitchell being a “nice guy.”
But Poodle Bitch begs to differ with that assessment. Mitchell is a venal jerk and socially stunted. She is glad to see him finally leave. Project Runway has restored some of its credibility.
Her name is Qristyl Frazier. Poodle Bitch will try to spell it correctly from now on.
Poodle Bitch's blog can be found here.
Ra'mon Lawrence Coleman pic source.
Rachel Bilson pic source.
Qrystyil Frazier pic source.
Tim Gunn pic source.