Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Most Terrifying Nightmare Anyone's Ever Had, Ever

Last night/early this morning I had the most terrifying dream anyone's ever had, ever.

It was so terrifying that I hesitate to write of it here. It will truly send shivers up and down the spines of anyone unlucky enough to read about it. For that reason, it seemed appropriate that I had the dream on the first day of the month of October, which is famous for containing the holiday known as "Halloween." That is a scary holiday.

Turn away now if you do not want to read about the terror I experienced last night/early this morning, in dream form.

Okay, now that the wussies are no longer reading, I can mercilessly tease them for being wussies. Seriously, what were they so scared of? It's just a dream, and it didn't even happen to them.

That said, this is really the most terrifying dream that anyone's ever had, probably.

Here it is:

I had been Instant Messaging with someone, who turned out to be the real killer! I learned this because my friend Michael told me, in his own Instant Message (I was using skype). Michael hadn't spoken to me in a long time, so I knew that what he had to say was very important. But it took what felt like hours for his IM to get through.

It was hardly what you'd call an "Instant" message. But I had no time to appreciate the irony, because I'd been electronically conversing with the real killer!

Then I realized that she was in the apartment with me!

Breathlessly (I literally felt as if I couldn't breathe), I rushed out of the computer room and did a somersault over the couch and out of the living room. She was at the end of the hallway, and I started to run as fast as I could; but no matter how fast I ran, and how much ground I covered, the hallway seemed to get longer, and my steps seemed to get heavier. It was almost as if I wasn't actually moving at all! Like I was on a treadmill!

I suddenly realized the real killer was going to get me!

At that point, mercifully, I woke up. Even though I had to pee, I could not bring myself to get out from under the covers and go to the bathroom. The dream was that terrifying.

Eventually, of course, I did get up to pee, because holding it in when you have to pee can lead to incontinence, which is a truly terrifying prospect.

In its way, it's almost as terrifying as the dream I had!

I Stand Alone pic source.

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