Friday, November 20, 2009

I Have Written A Song for Britney Spears

Actually, I have written a first draft of lyrics for a song for Britney Spears. It was inspired by her recent troubles during certain Australian tour dates. Apparently, Ms. Spears lip-syncs during her concerts, and some people don't like that.
Britney Spears' lip syncing was causing controversy In Australia even before she arrived for the Pacific leg of her Circus tour and now Spears is reportedly feeling the backlash.

Ticket prices are as much as $1300 for VIP seats and now that Spears has performed her first few dates Down Under, fans and critics are getting even more vicious about the quality of her show, causing Spears to become "extremely upset," according to reports.
Of course what she needs to do is tell her critics to "sync off," and what better way to do that than by recording my defiant pro-lip-syncing song?, lyrics below:

"LIP SYNCING BITCH"

It’s really hard to dance and sing
All at the same time
So I shake it hard and do my thing
To pre-recorded rhymes

My music machine is throbbin’
They paid to see a show
My movements get them mobbin’
They just wanna see me go!

I’m a lip-syncing bitch
That’s why my shows go off
Without a hitch
Ask me again I’ll tell it true
Lip-syncing bitch says,
“Sync you!”

Everybody wants a piece of this
My music and my soul
And they dream of my uterus
They wanna find the glory hole

That’s why I keep up the routine
The singing gets so heavy
I shake it hard in tight bluejeans
In the backseat of a Chevy

I’m a lip-syncing bitch
My fans buy tickets and they
Make me rich
Ask me again I’ll tell it true
Lip-syncing bitch says,
“Sync you!”

Hey mister complainer and hater
I know you’re just jealous
I’m a real live musical creator
And I get three-ways with the fellas

Oooh, you love my lip-sync
So beautiful and wet
In and out of your ear so pink
You’ll never feel regret

I’m a lip-syncing bitch
They see me movin’ and I
Scratch their itch
Ask me again I’ll tell it true
Lip-syncing bitch says,
“Sync you!”

I’m a lip-syncing bitch
I turn them on with my
Ignition switch
Ask me again I’ll tell it true
Lip-syncing bitch says,
“Sync you!”

I’m a lip-syncing bitch
I make my money ‘cause
I found my niche
Ask me again I’ll tell it true
Lip-syncing bitch says,
“Sync you!”


Recording this song would be a good first step toward telling people that you just don't give a "sync" about all the smack talk they're doing. Also, it would help me to make some much-needed scratch during this particularly difficult holiday season.


Britney Spears puts so much effort into her costuming and dancing that she cannot devote as much of herself to actual singing.

Pic source.

3 comments:

shampoo said...

are people STILL complaining about this?! it's britney, bitches! this is how she rolls.
anyone who pays $1300 for the britney spears hand waving tour is...

I could really use $1300...

here's my song (as yet incomplete)

my name is britney
and if you down wit me
you know what to expect
(oh yeah)
hooker shoes and fresh weave glue and lots of special effects
(hey baby)
but you don't care
cuz you just wanna stare at my ::vigorous ass shaking ensues::
(you're bad... I like that) ::sexay pose::

Ricky Sprague said...

Ah, shampoo, your song is already better than mine.

shampoo said...

hehe... I think yours is better.

I just tried to think "britney".