Does the famous celebrity singer and dancer Britney Spears sound like a mediocre karaoke singer with asthma?
The video embedded below (found via this website) contains what is supposedly the actual audio feed from Britney Spears's microphone. It is hypnotically awful.
Also, at the end -- at around the 3:46 mark -- does Ms. Spears say "That was retarded"? What if Sarah Palin sees this video? Will she demand that Ms. Spears be fired?
Here's something else: When you go to a Britney Spears concert (I am not a fan and I don't know anyone who is, so I really can't ask anyone this question), do you get super excited to hear the new, slowed-down version of "Hit Me Baby One More Time"?
At this point, everyone has pretty much moved on from Ms. Spears. Lady GaGa is a much more entertaining performer with catchier songs. So perhaps Ms. Spears should just stop lip-syncing altogether, and use the actual audio feed from her microphone. That could be her new angle, sort of a freak show kind of thing: Step right up and listen to the painful sounds of the kitschy performer, as she desperately struggles to hang on to what she had at 16!
And as long as I'm on the topic (and this does seem on-topic) -- it turns out that Lindsay Lohan might be a hoarder.
Or probably not.
Niecy Nash, the host of "Clean House" and former star of the late, lamented "Reno 911!," does her best to add drama ("I always say that clutter is an outward expression of an inward thing"), but I'm not really seeing the "secret celebrity hoarder" angle. Maybe I'm just callous, but all I'm seeing a privileged rich kid who gets a lot of free stuff that she keeps.
And who is also a casual liar, telling Ms. Nash something like, "The craziest thing is, I know every single thing I have in here. I have, like, a photographic memory," to which Ms. Nash asks, "Okay, what's in this box?," in reference to a box they happen to be standing beside at that particular moment. Ms. Lohan's reply: "Oh, I haven't looked in that one yet."
I take nothing this shoe-obsessed woman says seriously. Watch one episode of the A&E show "Hoarders," and then tell me if you can feel any sympathy for Ms. Lohan.
The most interesting thing about this clip for me was, I didn't know that Niecy Nash was on the television show "The Insider." Apparently she's a regular correspondent. I admit I'm an occasional viewer of "Clean House," and I have to say I'm disappointed to see her here. One of the best things about "Clean House" is Ms. Nash's "I-don't-buy-that" attitude when people give her excuses about why they can't or won't clean up. She should have been harder on Ms. Lohan.