Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lindsay Lohan-- Unbankable

TMZ is reporting some very distressing news for troubled party girl and possible Rolex thief Lindsay Lohan-- she's apparently been dumped from her latest film for not being "bankable."
Lindsay Lohan was axed from a movie because she's not "bankable" -- this according a source connected with the production of the flick.

Lindsay was slated to star in "The Other Side," a movie about a grad student working on a deserted island.
A movie about a grad student working on a deserted island sounds awesome! I wonder what kind of work she's doing? It probably has something to do with her thesis. Is she studying the mating habits of some cryptozoological creature that can be found only that island? Or is she using advanced genetic engineering to create new genetically modified food from crops that are found only on that island? Maybe she's studying the effects of being on a deserted island?

Is this photo Ms. Lohan's own meta-commentary on her acting career?

Whatever the specifics, it doesn't sound like a movie so much as a license to print money. Ms. Lohan is seriously missing out, but that isn't the worst part of the story for her. No, the worst part is delivered deadpan in the fifth paragraph of TMZ's story:
The movie also stars Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette.
In a movie with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews, and Alanis Morissette, it was Lindsay Lohan who was considered the "unbankable" one.


I was going to photoshop up a parody of the poster for the classic film "Unbreakable" by calling it "Unbankable," and putting Lindsay Lohan's face in it. But then I thought, "Damn, that is a lot of trouble to go to for a joke about Lindsay Lohan's movie troubles." Also, I don't want to pile on the poor young woman at this difficult time. Now I'm going to take a nap.

Unbreakable pic source.
Lindsay Lohan pic source.


A.Jaye said...

I realised I've never seen a Lindsay Lohan film so I sought out 'I Know Who Killed Me'.

No wonder she's unbankable.

But any bird with her type of palaver deserves a Thrill Fiction.

Ricky Sprague said...

I was very entertained by "I Know Who Killed Me." It's actually one of the few movies I've "reviewed" on this site:

It is perhaps a little sad that "IKWKM" is probably LL's most entertaining movie.

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