Wednesday, April 21, 2010

One Should Never Make Major Life Decisions Just Because "The Children" Want You To

Children are irritating little burdens who pick things up off the ground and put them in their mouths. They have exceptionally poor decision making skills and are easily manipulable. At best they stink and at worst they are venal. "The children" are not the future because if they were then the future would suck ass, hard. Children grow up, and supposedly become adults, although now we've got a bunch of adults who were told all their lives that they were "the future," and "our most precious resource" and now those "adults" act like characters from Will Ferrell movies.

We're all screwed, is what I'm saying. Just take a look around you.

It's not even really "the childrens'" fault. After all, they're children. They need adult supervision. They need to be molded properly into decent human beings (children don't become human until their teenaged years) who can make real decisions about their own lives. They do not need to be told that their opinions matter about anything, ever, until they've grown up and gotten the hell out of their parents' house.

Which leads me to the news that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are contemplating getting married-- because their children want them to. According to OK! magazine, the two superstars are going to ruin their perfect relationship by making it "legal" because their children are not yet sophisticated enough to understand that people can live together without getting the government involved.
At long last, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to tie the knot. The reason? Because it would mean the world to their kids!

The children, a source says, have been wanting a wedding since they’ve been old enough to understand that their parents are not officially husband and wife. “First it was Maddox, who has begged his parents to tie the knot for years,” the insider says. “Lately, Shiloh and Zahara have been chiming in, and Pax thinks it would just be the coolest thing ever to be a ring bearer.”
"At long last!" As if we've all been waiting anxiously for these two crazy kids to finally stop "living in sin."

Let me tell you, Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie have had just about the most perfect lives that any two people can have. And their continuing to live together while openly defying the pressure to "tie the knot" has been an inspiration to people who know that real happiness comes from being with someone you love, not signing some contract and filing jointly on your income taxes.

But for crying out loud if you're going to ruin your perfect set-up can you at least do it because you want to, and not because some small semi-human creature that slobbers and poops his pants wants you to? And, seriously, kids the age of Ms. Jolie's and Mr. Pitt's are not "old enough to understand" all the reasons why two people do or do not get married.

Oh, well, the kid wants to be a ring bearer, so I guess we've gotta go through with it.

That is one spoiled kid.

And this at a time when Tiger Woods and his wife Elin are "100%" getting divorced. And when Sandra Bullock has a "master plan" to divorce her husband, Jesse James.

The only way I would endorse this would be if they entered a polygamist relationship with Lady GaGa. Remember back (in January!) when Ms. Jolie and Ms. GaGa were supposed to have been engaged in a torrid lesbian affair? Ms. Jolie and Mr. Pitt need to take a stand, for the rest of us.

Don't do this! You've both been married before-- and divorced! This is foolishness, you have nothing to prove, especially to your kids.

Please, Ms. Jolie. You're better than this "marriage" thing.

Pic source.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Oh God! This must be another one of those publicity stunts. But yes, it's stupid to get married for the sake of the children, just like it's stupid to remain in a bad marriage for the sake of the children. The world is wrong, very wrong...