Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tiger Woods Lectured by his Dead Father

The entertaining Michael K at dlisted has a posting about a new advertisement from the athletic shoe and clothing company Nike, in which Tiger Woods, the famous golfer and rake, seems to be getting a lecture from his dead father, Earl.
Nike wants you to forget all about the Tiger Woods who throws used tampons in parking lots so they have released this bizarre as sh*t commercial featuring him getting a talking to from his dead father.
By the way, don't imagine Tiger getting beej while standing there, because my gutter ass did and now I can't erase that picture!
Here is the ridiculous commercial:

I have to say that it didn't cross my mind that Mr. Woods might be getting a "beej" during the lecture. It takes a great deal of concentration to look that sullen and pensive, and a beej is too distracting. More likely he was thinking, "How much longer do I have to pretend I'm sorry about this?"

Or, perhaps he was thinking, why am I getting a lecture from my father about womanizing? After all, Tiger's father, Earl, cheated on his first wife (and mother of his first three children) with Tiger's mother.
In 1954 he married a girl called Ann Hart and, deeming that a career in the Army might offer more opportunity than civil employment, signed on for basic training. By 1958 Ann and he had two sons and a daughter. In 1961 Earl was posted to Korea, and next year sent to Vietnam. Back in the US in 1966, he volunteered for the Green Berets, an elite special force, and was appointed Special Services Officer in Bangkok, in charge of organising recreation for the troops. There he met Kultida ("Tida") Punswad, who was part-Thai and part-Chinese, with some Caucasian ancestors thrown in.

On his return to America Woods pressured his wife into a separation, and subsequently, under somewhat murky circumstances, obtained a divorce in Mexico. Although he married Tida in 1969, it was not until 1972 that Ann Woods obtained a US divorce.
And of course when Mr Woods discovered his father cheated on his mother he was devastated.
More than a decade before Woods was outed as a serial philanderer, his beloved father was caught cheating on his mom, the golfer's high school girlfriend told E! News.

The revelation left a teenage Tiger devastated.

"He would just call crying and say, 'My dad is with another woman,' and that would be really all he could say," said Dina Parr, 34.
"He would be so upset, so I just tried to be there for him and listen to him."

Parr said a shattered Woods called her frequently during the summer before he entered college to discuss his parents' marriage woes.
Woods' dad, Earl, was divorced before he married Kultida, Tiger's mother, in 1969.

Tiger's close relationship with his father became the stuff of legend.
So, what is Tiger's father lecturing him about in this Nike ad? It is obscure enough as to be open to interpretation, I suppose, but you'd have to be dense as a soup sandwich not to understand the intent.

The older (and dead) Woods is disappointed in his son. His son has been much in the news lately because of his serial cheating. So the source of this disappointment must in some way be related to that.

Is he, as this columnist suggests, disappointed that Tiger got caught? Is he disappointed by the number of times Tiger cheated? Is he disappointed that so many of the women were pornographic film actresses, or waitresses, or paid escorts? Maybe he's disappointed that Tiger has done so much damage to his brand, when Earl did so much to help him to build it? Maybe he's disappointed that his son spent so much time with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley?

Or, perhaps he's disappointed that his son is using his own dead father in a cynical attempt to "rehabilitate" his image.

Regardless, the commercial is, as I've already stated, ridiculous. But it's all over the internet, so the marketing people did something right. They even got me to mention it on my prestigious blog, and I only write about the most scintillating things.


Miss Malevolent said...

There are so many ironies about that ad.

1. That is father was a cheater. Like father like son.

2. That the slogan of Nike is, "Just Do It!" Which is just what Tiger did.

But I guess what I'm left most with is...

Tiger's cynical use of his dead dad's disembodied voice to shill himself as a spokesperson for Nike products. And the fact that Nike thinks that's a great idea rather than a shit opportunistic move.

Just goes to show...nothing is sacred anymore.

Not marriage.

Not the dead.

Anything can be used to hawk a product...the product in this case being Tiger Woods himself.


Honestly...the real lesson being missed in all this is not how Tiger needs to redeem himself to his "fans" and the little "Chirens" out there...but the fact that we deify these people when we shouldn't.

Actors, models and sports stars are nothing but humans who shouldn't be held up as heroes of anything. They're lucky enough to get paid massive amounts of dollars what children do on weekends in the park.

It's time we as a society stop propping up these yahoos as demigods.

Ricky Sprague said...

"They're lucky enough to get paid massive amounts of dollars what children do on weekends in the park."

I think that is getting to the heart of it right there. They get to do what we want to do. We identify. We envy. We resent.