Saturday, June 12, 2010

January Jones Car Accident, with Guest Appearance by Bobby Flay: Benefit of the Doubt Edition

There is a show on AMC called "Mad Men" that is a critical if not popular favorite. It's not difficult to understand why -- all of the characters are remote and "complicated," and the stars are elegantly coiffed and everyone smokes and drinks and the women all look very attractive and it deals with a "simpler time." I actually watched the first season and didn't hate it but I certainly didn't love it the way the critics said I was supposed to, but for me the most remarkable thing about the show was how my TiVo handled it:

I had a season pass, which meant TiVo was to record every episode. TiVo dutifully did this for the entire first season; didn't miss an episode. When the second season began it recorded the first episode, but then it just stopped, for some reason. A couple of weeks went by and I realized I hadn't seen the show in awhile and I checked my season pass. "Mad Men" was still listed, but it wasn't set to record any new episodes. And there were no conflicts, either. AMC's position in the channel lineup hadn't changed.

It was like TiVo was trying to tell me something. And when TiVo tells me something, I listen. He does a good job of recommending to me programs I'll like, for instance. In this case, it was as if TiVo were telling me, "You don't REALLY need to watch 'Mad Men' anymore, Ricky."

And I discovered TiVo was correct. "Mad Men" is a good show, but it's not even the best show on AMC. That distinction belongs to "Breaking Bad," which is one of the best series ever.

Anyway, sorry for the long preface but my point is that one of the stars of the critically acclaimed if not popular with viewers television program "Mad Men," the very attractive and wonderfully named Ms. January Jones, was recently involved in some kind of, well, confusing oddity involving her own car, two or three parked cars, Food Network star Bobby Flay, possibly some alcohol, and possibly some paparazzi.

January Jones is hot and she has a great name. But can she drive?

The story has lots of room for benefit of the doubt.

The first story about Ms. Jones, which might or might not be related, was that she took a cab home the morning after an event, and was seen wearing the same outfit she'd worn the night before. On Thursday June 10th Michael K at dlisted called it the Cab Ride of Shame:
Anyways, here's January Jones getting out of a cab yesterday morning wearing the same dress she wore the night before to an event. Git that shit, Betty Draper!
"Betty Draper" is the character she plays on "Mad Men."

Benefit of the doubt: Partied till a respectable hour, then got locked in a storage closet all night.

On June 11th, TMZ ran a story about another incident in which Ms. Jones is (alleged!) to have crashed into three (three!) parked cars.

THREE! Think about that. How do you crash into three parked cars? Benefit of the doubt: They were all parked really close together.

Anyway, from TMZ:
As we first reported Jones was driving home last night when her car struck 3 parked vehicles. She left her license with a witness, walked a short distance to her home, called 911 and eventually returned to the scene. Jones told cops paparazzi were following her and that's why she crashed. Cops did not administer a field sobriety test -- we were told because there was no evidence of alcohol.
Let's stop there for a moment and consider that Ms. Jones, the star of a critically acclaimed and well-known if not exactly popular with viewers television show crashes her vehicle into THREE parked cars. That person leaves her license with "a witness," walks back home, then returns to the scene of the "accident." The police don't administer a field sobriety test.

Try to imagine if Ms. Jones were not the star of a critically acclaimed and well-known if not exactly popular with viewers television show. Would the police not give that person a sobriety test? Would the police not lock up that person for leaving the scene of an accident?

Benefit of the doubt: sobriety tests aren't all that accurate anyway. So giving Ms. Jones such a test might have been a waste of time.

And still more benefit of the doubt: She did return to the scene later, and apparently no one was injured. How long are you supposed to wait around when you cause an accident and no one is injured?
But now we're getting a more involved story. A woman who owns one of the cars that was hit tells TMZ ... she heard the crash, looked over her balcony and saw Jones. She says around 10 minutes after the crash, Food Network star Bobby Flay showed up in a separate car, began talking with her and telling her to leave the scene, which she did.
Now a witness says that Ms. Jones called not the police, but Food Network star Bobby Flay?

At first you're thinking, Why on earth do you call a celebrity chef when you've just crashed into three parked cars? Well, what do chefs know? Food. Mr. Flay in particular knows spicy food. Benefit of the doubt: I'm not saying that Ms. Jones was intoxicated, but if she were, and she wanted advice on what spicy food she should use to cover the smell of alcohol on her breath, it's a chef who specialized in Southwestern cuisine like Bobby Flay that she should consult.

Needs a kitchen consultant.

And even if she weren't intoxicated, and just nervous -- maybe she wanted advice on what food she could eat to calm her nerves?

It's got to be innocent, right? Unless the witness is full of beans and Bobby Flay wasn't involved at all?
We spoke with Flay, who tells us he was watching the basketball game
last night at The London West Hollywood Hotel with a group of people that included Jones. Flay says he saw her drink a beer but wasn't really watching her alcohol intake. Flay says he had only met Jones once before, and last night she asked for his number because she wanted to redo her kitchen and give his number to her designer. Flay obliged, and says he doesn't know why Jones chose to call him after the crash, but nonetheless he drove over to help her. He says he did not argue but just wanted to make sure she was ok.
Oh boy.

Maybe I'm cynical, but that sounds a little bit suspicious. They only just met once before, and she asked for his number because she's redecorating her kitchen and wants to give his number to her designer? Listen, you consult chefs for advice on what kind of food to eat when you're intoxicated and want to mask the smell of alcohol. If you want advice on redecorating your kitchen, you ask a designer. Which Ms. Jones already had. Because she asked for Mr. Flay's number to give to said designer.

Iron Chef Bobby Flay sped to January Jones's side so that he could advise her to purchase one of those big power drill type things for her kitchen.

Benefit of the doubt: Ms. Jones hired a designer she doesn't fully trust, saw Mr. Flay at a social gathering and decided to get his number so the designer could consult with Mr. Flay, thereby alleviating some of the concerns she has about him.

My head is spinning. Anyway, what kind of sage (get it, "sage"?) advice did the television chef Bobby Flay impart to Ms. Jones?
The witness at the scene tells TMZ she was face-to-face with Jones and smelled alcohol on her breath. The witness says Jones left her driver's license with another resident and left. She returned 45 minutes later in a different set of clothes, chewing gum.
Chewing gum? Are you effing serious? He told her to go home for awhile and chew some gum. For crying out loud Bobby Flay ought to lose all his Food Network shows for that one. That sounds like something I would have told Ms. Jones if she'd called me. She could have called me. He couldn't tell her to eat a clove of garlic and half an egg yolk or something (that isn't my advice)?

He's a world famous TV chef and he tells her to go home and chew gum?

That's it -- I'm never watching anything with Bobby Flay ever again.

Benefit of the doubt: Mr. Flay was nervous in the presence of such a hot young woman and he went with the old "chew gum" bit from every television show ever made.

Anyway, the story goes on to say that no witnesses saw any of the paparazzi that were supposedly chasing Ms. Jones. Also, despite the fact that witnesses claimed to have smelled alcohol on Ms. Jones's breath, no sobriety test was done.

Because she'd gone home before the police got there. On the advice of Bobby Freaking Flay.

Benefit of the doubt: the nefarious paparazzi left the scene, fearing they might have chased Ms. Jones to her death.

Ms. Jones's representative defended her actions in another story published by TMZ.
Jones' rep says "While being followed by paparazzi, Ms. Jones struck two parked cars." Although LAPD is now saying 2 cars were hit, this morning they said 3 parked cars were involved -- consistent with a witness.
...
The rep says, "She did not flee the scene; she left her license with a witness and walked to her nearby home to call the police."
The rep says that she left the scene to call police. Yet, as TMZ points out:
That statement somewhat contradicts what Bobby Flay told TMZ. Flay says he gave Jones his cell phone number earlier in the evening and after the crash -- while she was still at the accident scene -- she called him on his cell phone to come over and help her. If Flay's story is accurate, Jones didn't have to go home to make the call -- she could have stayed at the scene and called 911 on her cell.
Here is the other truly bizarre and disappointing aspect to this story. The "rep" had a day to come up with this story. That's what "reps" do. They come up with stories to explain their clients' behavior. And yet the best the "rep" could come up with was she went home to call the police on her landline when witnesses -- including Food Network star Bobby Flay -- claim that she had a perfectly good cell phone right in her hand.

Presumably, so did Mr. Flay. Also, all the witnesses. Do you know anyone in LA who doesn't have a cell phone? I am serious about this: I have seen homeless people in LA who have cell phones.

Benefit of the doubt: If you call 911 on a cell phone in California you get the state highway patrol. Maybe she wanted to call the LAPD directly and no one had that number programmed into their cell phones, and they didn't know the number for information or Goog 411? (I do have the LAPD number programmed in my cell phone, another reason Ms. Jones should have called me.)

But the "rep" doesn't mention this. The "rep" needs to lose his/her job. That is not how you do things in LA.

The "rep does not get the benefit of the doubt. In a city like LA, you "rep" is everything, and you can't make stupid mistakes like that.

First January Jones pic source.
Second January Jones pic source.
Bobby Flay Iron Chef pic source.

1 comment:

shampoo said...

benefit of a doubt... low battery?

why didn't anyone else call 911 on all their phones? i would not wait for the driver who hit my car to get around to call 911 if she seemed relunctant to do it. just saying...

maybe she was chewing gum to cover the taste of chili powder and garlic (or what have you)?

hehe