Tuesday, July 20, 2010

$195 Seems Like a Lot to Pay Just to Learn How to Have Sex Like a Porn Star

Did I really just type the sentence above? Am I really that jaded? Or is the economy really that bad?

Via the Not Safe for Work fleshbot comes the story of Ryan Keely's Porn Star Sex Life workshop, at which attendees pay $195 (for the next seminar in New York, anyway) to learn, well, how to have a porn star sex life. At least, that's what is promised by the seminar's title.

A website called Driven by Boredom has some information, and some photos (mostly safe for work):
Last weekend my friend, Penthouse Pet and the “Tony Robbins of sex” Ryan Keely held her first Porn Star Sex Life seminar at Velour Lounge. ... Ryan had help running the seminar and she was assisted by fellow Penthouse Pet Justine Joli, fetish model Jade Vixen and pick up artist guru Josh Rosenberg.

The seminar started off with Josh teaching a lesson on how to find yourself a girl to practice these techniques on and then Ryan led a lengthy discussion on how to find the clitoris but after that they jumped straight into the proper techniques of fisting. It was full steam from there with some pretty advanced lessons on all sorts of sex. Ryan gave pointers on oral sex, the best positions, and finally anal sex, the whole time demonstrating, in a more or less safe for work, these techniques on Jade and Justine. She also went through a number of simple stretches you could do at home to make your sex life dramatically better in just a few weeks. Jade gave a lesson in my specialty – rough sex and Justine broke down STD’s and sex hygene.
Again, maybe I'm jaded, but... $195 for that?

You can watch porn on the internet for free. And it's easy enough to watch something, find what you'd like to try, and point it out to your partner:

You see what she's licking there? I want you to do that to me. Yes, I'll do it for you, too.

See how she's turned around like that? Yeah, get your body into that position, and I'll... here, I'll get behind you like this...

Okay, now pull this up here -- no, a little higher, maybe -- and then get on top of, no, wait, not on top of that, but on top of this, and then, yeah, start moving side to side at first, then a little bit up and down. I think that's too much. Slow down a second while I figure this out...

Let's go a little crazy tonight and try it with the lights on!...

Now could you make friends with Stoya, so we can have a three-way with her?

As for the picking up women part, you should have watched The Pick-Up Artist with Mystery on VH1.

And you've just saved yourself almost $200, which you can put toward anal beads.

Most of that $195 goes to pay for overhead anyway.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

LMFAO! Your dialogues made me crack up. But yeah, why pay when it's much more fun to experiment and learn.