Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Jessica Alba: Nude Scene Cheater -- And It's Union Actors Who Will Suffer

The actress Jessica Alba appears in the movie "Machete" in a state of undress, sort of. She cheated by using CGI.
Jessica Alba shocked fans last week when a nude scene from her latest film Machete leaked in the press.

But what looked like a naked shot of the star has been found to be fake and new photographs show Alba was actually wearing underwear, which was later digitally removed.
It turns out she is a bit modest about her body (apparently she thinks she looks repulsive), and didn't want to appear nude, even though the film's story clearly required it.
'I think I was always very uncomfortable about the way my body developed, and I remember my grandmother would freak out and throw a towel over me if she saw me wearing just a bra and panties.

'I come from a very Catholic family so it wasn't seen as a good thing to flaunt yourself like that. I can handle being sexy with clothes on but not with them off.'
In the scene in question, Ms. Alba stands beside a shower with the water left running (which is bad for the environment and therefore much more shocking than human nudity), and sort of stares dreamily into the distance, contemplating the fate of immigrants from Mexico (Full disclosure: I haven't seen the film so I don't know what is going on in the scene). Here is a photograph of the scene:


The very not safe for work Fleshbot, where I learned about the story, has a clip from the movie on its site. You can watch it here. She just stands there, with her arms and legs strategically placed so you can't see anything anyway, and she stares off with the expression of someone who is trying to appear to be thinking about something very important (such as, "Why don't I shut off the water in the shower?"), and then she hears a beeping in the distance, and turns her head.

Oh, and the camera does kind of a twirling thing. It's an exciting scene.

As I suggested when I discussed the (lack of a) Sandra Bullock sex tape, these Hollywood actresses should all be doing nude scenes. Not necessarily for their "fans," but for themselves. Especially if they have body image issues, as seems to be the improbable case with Ms. Alba. You are never going to have better circumstances for presenting yourself to the world. You are young and your body, trust me as someone on the decline I know, will never be in better condition. Second, you have an army of lighting, hair, and makeup people to make you look the absolute best you can.

Document yourself! You will regret it later.

Or, maybe you won't. I can only tell you that is the case with me. I wish I'd done more nude scenes. Or at least made a few sex tapes when I was younger and much hotter. Now all I'm left with is memories. Painful, fragmented, rapidly fading memories.

Anyway, I would think that, given the advances made with CGI and animation, a young actress would be reluctant to allow herself to be treated in this manner. After all, how long will it be before directors realize that CGI images of human beings have none of the hang-ups of actual human beings, and will do anything the story requires of them, without having to deal with their "grandmother issues"?

The director in this case, Robert Rodriguez, could just recast Ms. Alba's role with a CGI figure, a la "Avatar," and be done with it. We're only a few years away from that, anyway. Why speed up the process? Especially given what's going on in New Zealand, with the upcoming film "The Hobbit."
A "Member Alert" went out yesterday afternoon from the Screen Actors Guild advising actors not to accept work on the non-union production of The Hobbit. It's part of an international showbiz labor effort begun by New Zealand Actors' Equity and its umbrella The Media Entertainment and Arts Alliance headquartered in Australia to go public with a campaign confronting Peter Jackson, the director and producer of the long planned and high profile back-to-back Hobbit movies and filmmakers Three Foot Seven, MGM, and Warner Brothers. NZ Actors' Equity is calling a meeting of actors on Tuesday to bring The Hobbit filmmakers to the negotiating table for a contract providing minimum guarantees on wages and working conditions, residual payments, and cancellation payments to actors engaged on the production.
How long before Peter Jackson et al see this story about the CGI Jessica Alba nude scene and they say, "You actors don't want to accept our terms and work on 'The Hobbit'? That's cool, we'll just CGI your asses into it. Union problems solved."

Ms. Alba, in case my previous argument didn't sway you, consider this: Your nudity hang up is hurting your profession. There are thousands of struggling actors out there who are counting on you to do your nude scene. For them, and for all future actors I implore you to do the nude scenes for real.

Or not. It's your choice. At the very least, you could ask the director to CGI in the shower water, as well. Leaving it running like that is bad for the environment.

1 comment:

jessica alba said...

When I first saw this I was so excited, then when I found out it was CGI I was disappointed. I give her respect for it tho.