Thursday, September 16, 2010

Someone Help Katy Perry

Katy Perry is a famous singer. She has sold millions of her songs. She has fabulous wealth. She is engaged to a famous man. She is also only 25 years old, apparently (I would have guessed ten years older). In other words, she has youth, money, and fame.

Yet it is not enough. Youth, money, and fame apparently cannot buy you happiness, nor save you from the bitterness of unrequited high school love. Seriously, Katy Perry is young, famous, and rich, and she is still angry at some kid in high school who rejected her advances.
On Tuesday, the 25-year-old pop star returned to her alma mater, Dos Pueblos High School in Goleta, California (which she attended her freshman year before earning her GED) for a homecoming concert. ...

Pointing out into the audience, she identified one specific member of the crowd and asked, "Is that Shane Lopes? You were the most popular kid in my class, but you never wanted to date me, it was always Amanda Wayne." As the crowd laughed and cheered, she adopted a bit of swagger and added, "Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey. What's up now, playa?" Becoming an international, Grammy-nominated pop star evidently does wonderful things for your self-confidence.
It is not enough for her to be happy for herself. The fame, the wealth, the youth are not enough for her. She has to have total control over everyone in her life, including those from her past.

Would she still want to be with this "Shane Lopes" person today? Or would she have left him behind as the "girl kissing" started?

I don't know. But she really needs to get over something that happened when she was apparently a freshman in high school. And why does she need to insult this "Amanda Wayne" person? What did that poor woman ever do to you?

The object of the taunting, Shane Lopes, behaved with more maturity than the pathetic Ms. Perry.
“I turned red [when she called out my name], I mean there’s only so much I can say because I didn’t have the microphone so I couldn’t form a rebuttal or talk any crap back,” said Katy’s former Dos Pueblos High School classmate Shane Lopes in jest. “I thought that would be kind of funny if I was on stage and we were going back and forth.”
Yes, she is wealthy and famous and Mr. Lopes doesn't even have a microphone. It is easy to talk smack when your target can't talk back, and can't get to you.
“I was just sort of giving non-verbal reactions to all the things she said, I was mostly laughing,” laughed the former high school quarterback who now coaches the same team. “But I wasn’t able to talk to her in person. I really wanted to but I had to go to football practice at the high school. I wanted to say ‘what’s up!’”

But unrequited love is not quite what Shane remembers in the hallways.

“That whole story is pretty fabricated. I never got the feeling that she had a crush on me. We’ve always been friends. I think it was more for entertainment and she was figuring out a way to segue into her next song and kinda embarrass me just for fun.


So now that the I Kissed A Girl singer is a worldwide sensation, does Shane wish he could turn back the clock? “No, I don’t have any regrets,” Lopes said. “I’m actually engaged to my high school sweetheart!”
So, "for fun" and to segue into a new song, the famous and wealthy Ms. Perry undermined the coach of the football team. I hope he's not also a teacher. Who would take him seriously after that? He got "dissed," as the kids say. Or, do they say "served"? When I was in high school, we called it getting "faced."

"Dude, Mr. Lopes got faced."

I think that now "faced" might be short for "sh*tfaced," as in "drunk," or "pissed," as they say in England.

But I doubt that Ms. Perry was trying to embarrass Mr. Lopes "just for fun." She is a sad, bitter woman who is so desperately unhappy, and so hung up on her own dissatisfied high school experience that she drunkenly crashed another high school's prom last month. Remember that?
God, what a sad night for everyone -- the sad lonely woman whose fame and money can't buy sober happiness, and the delicate children whose "big night" was ruined by a tragic drunk.
Katy Perry: You have youth, fame, and money. If you can't be happy, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Do you think it's because Katy Perry still has an acne problem that she can't let go of her high school days? Or is she just a bitter, insecure jerk?

1 comment:

Miss Malevolent said...

"Do you think it's because Katy Perry still has an acne problem that she can't let go of her high school days? Or is she just a bitter, insecure jerk?"