Thursday, October 14, 2010

Something to Look Forward to on November 2

November 2, 2010 is going to be a great day for America, and I cannot effing wait!

Are you pumped? Excited? Oh hell yes you are and you know it!

McRib is back, baby!
On Nov. 2, for the first time in 16 years, McDonald's Corp. will offer the McRib at outlets across the U.S., but even then, only for six weeks or so. "It doesn't sell well all year long because people get tired of it," says McDonald's USA President Jan Fields.
I love McDonald's. McDonald's is one of my favorite restaurants. Yes, I like foie gras and kobe beef and jamón, and wild boar, and sushi, and tacos, and Kung Pao chicken and the Double Down but for crying out loud, McDonald's is inspiring. You can get a full meal for under five bones. And it tastes good, too. And they are all over the world! When I was in Spain and France this summer, I hit a McDonald's in each country and yeah they were a little different but still just as good. Reliably good, anywhere you go.

And have you tried the Sweet Tea they have now? Holy sh*t that stuff is tasty.

On November 2, I can order a mothereffing McRib sandwich and a sweet tea. Dammit, I can't wait. Something to look forward to on November 2.

I'm not alone, apparently.
But McRibs are almost never available at all McDonald's restaurants at the same time. Instead, the Oak Brook, Ill., company offers them in different cities at different times, rarely for longer than a few weeks.

The sandwich's elusiveness has created a fan base of people who go to considerable lengths to munch on a McRib. Ryan Dixon of Burbank, Calif., once drove 10 hours to Medford, Ore., after hearing a McDonald's there was selling the sandwich.

"It has a ghostly quality," says Mr. Dixon, a 30-year-old graphic novelist. "You don't know when it will appear. It's the girl who you are in love with who has always been a tease to you."
Ryan Dixon, I don't know you, but you are a friend of mine. I could not have put it any better. Except to note that a McRib is better than the girl you're in love with who has always been a tease, because you can at least eat a McRib sometimes.

Of course, there are those who claim not to like the McRib. Those people are almost all jerks (no, not all of them, but some -- I'm not an absolutist). Want proof? Well here's some for you:
"It's a conglomeration of pork waste, as far as I can tell," says Kate Sedgwick, 34, a travel blogger who lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She has never actually tasted a McRib, and isn't familiar with its ingredients because, she says, "I saw a dog turn his nose up at a piece of one. That's all I need to know."
Oh, isn't that just so droll.

Let me ask you, Kate Sedgwick, as a "travel blogger," do you often huff and puff about subjects about which you have no knowledge? Do you consider yourself above the rest of the hoi polloi because you willingly limit your own experiences?

Argentina is just a stupid country. I haven't actually been there, but one time when I shouted "Argentina!" at a dog, it turned and ran the other direction. That's all I need to know about it. Because I'm so mothereffing smart.

You're a travel blogger for crying out loud. You're supposed to go out and "try new things." After reading this oh so witty and clever quote about the McRib, do you expect anyone to take you seriously anymore? 

Oh, and by the way, dogs have very bad taste. They eat dog food. They eat excrement. They eat their own buttocks. Do you take food advice from such a creature? When you go to a new country and sample the cuisine, do you first run everything past a dog? "I would have tried that kimchi, but, you know, the dog wouldn't touch it."

Jerk. I'm so angry, all I can do to soothe my soul is to eat a McRib. On November 2. It can't get here fast enough!

For crying out loud, November 2, hurry up!

The only reason to look forward to November 2, 2010. A grateful nation can't wait.

McRib pic source.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I have to travell to Argentina because of my job, I'll be a month in a Buenos Aires apartment, so any advice you can give me about anything, about the argentinian food, etc. That would be great :)