Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Todd Seavey, meet Taylor Swift

Todd Seavey, who is some kind of political commentator or writer of whom I had never before heard, made an appearance on C-Span 2, which is some kind of cable channel of which I had  never before heard, as part of a panel to promote a book of essays called Proud to be Right, of which I had never before heard.

I know. Yawn. What do you care about a person, channel, and book that I'd never before heard of?

Well, another one of the panelists with whom Mr. Seavey was appearing was a woman named Helen Rittelmeyer. She was also a contributor to this book I'd never heard of before. I'd never heard of her, either.

You're probably still yawning. But the reason I mention all this is because Ms. Rittelmeyer and Mr. Seavey apparently used to date. And Mr. Seavey hasn't quite gotten over the pain of the breakup. So he decided to use this joint panel appearance on C-Span 2 to air some of his grievances.
When the audience gathered for a Book TV discussion of Jonah Goldberg’s new book, “Proud to be Right,” they got more than your average CSPAN fare.

It turns out panelists Todd Seavey and Helen Rittelmeyer, both contributors to Goldberg’s collection of essays by the next generation of conservatives, had dated at some point before appearing on this panel together. Seavey clearly had some unresolved issues with the break-up and decided to take them out on Rittelmeyer during the event, which was being televised on CSPAN2. The result is the wonkiest, nerdiest Internet revenge ever.
It is a bit painful to watch, but in the best possible sense. That sense of empathy and disgust that occasionally accompanies the sight of a person doing something completely unseemly, and yet at the same time something you might do yourself, if only you were just a little more dopey than you already are.

You're encouraged to watch the excerpt:

Yeah, that's kind of fun. The guy comes out of this looking like a doofus, which is what I'm sure he is. From this clip, we get only a few glimpses of the woman who so clearly tortured his soul. Here's a photo of her:

She is cute, in a nerdy sort of way. I like the smart girl glasses. Plus, she's Catholic, and you know what they say about Catholic girls, am I right, guys?

Anyway, initial reaction is, this Todd Seavey guy should just appreciate the on-again, off-again two years he had with her and try to forget the mind games, or whatever it was he claims she played with him. Everyone, to a certain extent, plays "mind games." Everyone is susceptible to misunderstanding. It happens. In two years, a lot of things happen.

Mr. Seavey, this strange little rant makes you seem like a 19 year-old girl.

In fact, it makes you seem like Taylor Swift. Ms. Swift is a singer of whom I had before heard. She is famous and successful. She is the one whom Kanye West interrupted while she was accepting some kind of award.

Anyway, at one time she made the mistake of dating John Mayer, who is apparently the Helen Rittelmeyer of popular music, because Mr. Mayer left Ms. Swift devastated. Devastated in that way that happens when you're 19 (or was she 18 at the time?), and in love with an older, manipulative man.

And she wrote a song about it, pouring 19 years worth of cleverness into something that is the musical equivalent of Mr. Seavey's C-Span 2 rant.
Based on lyrics from Swift's new song 'Dear John,' off her forthcoming 'Speak Now,' Mayer broke her heart.

The chorus of the song reveals the pair's romance ended badly:

"Dear John
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I should've known.

It was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young
To be played
By your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so.

My mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You'll add my name to your long list of traitors
Who don't understand
And I'll look back in regret
I ignored what they said 'Run as fast as you can."
You see, Mr. Seavey? When you're a 19 year-old girl, you can get away with stuff like this. But for a grown man, a man whose website is called "Conservatism for punks," well, you just look like a punk.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that both Ms. Swift and Mr. Seavey are able to find happiness in the future. Perhaps they have friends in common, who can introduce them to each other?

Helen Rittelmeyer pic source.

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