Monday, November 8, 2010

Miley Cyrus should drink in Spain. She should also eat horse meat.

A group of busybodies called the International Institute for Alcohol Awareness (by the way, they're doing a great job -- I don't know anyone who's not aware of alcohol) is up in arms over the fact that 17 year-old performer Miley Cyrus obeyed the law in another country:
Miley Cyrus put herself and others at risk this week by indulging in that ice cold Corona at a nightclub in Spain ... this according to an international alcohol awareness organization.

Even though officials in Spain told us 17-year-old Miley didn't break any laws ... the head of the International Institute for Alcohol Awareness, James E. Copple, is concerned other young people will follow her lead and engage in "risky behavior associated with underage alcohol consumption."

Copple tells us, "The young people that see her as a role model could mimic the same behavior and as a consequence will go out and become intoxicated, putting their safety at risk."

Copple noted ... according to his organization, "85% of young people who drink, drink to get intoxicated."
Yes, she put herself and others at risk, not because she drove drunk or got into a drunken fistfight, or anything like that. She put herself and others at risk because she had a beer at a nightclub, and the children might see that and think it would be cool to drink a beer, themselves. And then that beer will inevitably lead to another. Then another. Then another. Because according to this organization, 85% of "young people" who drink, do so for the sole purpose of becoming intoxicated.

And that's dangerous! How much blood will Ms. Cyrus have on her hands after this shocking incident?

I understand that the International Institute for Alcohol Awareness is group of bluenosing busybodies who exist for the sole purpose of ginning up outrage where none exists raising awareness of potentially dangerous alcohol-related situations, but, really -- a 17 year-old girl drinking a beer in a nightclub in a country where it is perfectly legal for her to do so?

Or, at least, kind of legal:

TMZ contacted several Spanish authorities who each confirmed the law ... and then made it clear that underage drinking is simply no big deal in their country.

One police officer told us ... people as young as 16 are cool to consume "certain" beverages in Madrid -- but the cop refused to explain what those beverages are. 

(Aside: Ms. Cyrus recently learned that her parents are divorcing, perhaps because her mother slept with manwhore Bret Michaels. Try to imagine the psychic trauma associated with that one and give her a break.)

And, given the fact that it is legal for "the children" to drink in Spain, they must be having all sorts of alcohol-related problems, right? Not particularly.
Many people start drinking in their early teens in Spain, but not just with their friends - often with their parents.

There's a high social tolerance for alcohol consumption and the atmosphere in which drinking is done - in bars, restaurants - is usually relaxed and more suited to slower drinking than in some other countries. It is rare to see alcohol-fuelled violence.
In America, our federal government blackmailed the states into mandating that they ban the sale of alcohol to those under the age of 21-- by withholding federal highway money for those that didn't raise their drinking age.

Just so we're clear, in America you can enlist in the military at 18 years of age. You're old enough to make that decision. You're old enough to vote (and voting is so important, you know). But you're just too young to know whether or not you can drink. Spain is ahead of the United States on this one.

Spain is actually ahead of the United States on a lot of things. It so happens that I spent about a week in that beautiful country this summer, and had a grand time. Oh, sure, they are buried under a mountain of debt, they had rowdy celebrations over the World Cup, their countryside was littered with stagnant windmills, and their Eurovision entry was lackluster, but they had the most amazing food. The jamon was outstanding -- they slice the meat right off the leg for you. But what I didn't expect to love so much was the horse meat.

Horse meat, if you haven't tried it, is difficult to describe. Imagine if kobe beef and wagyu beef had a tender little veal baby, and that veal baby was then mingled with foie gras and you have some idea. Damn, is horse meat delicious. Around the world, it is considered a delicacy.

But in America, there is a ridiculous superstition/aversion to that delicious delicacy. It's not quite against the law, but:
The country’s last equine slaughterhouse closed its doors in 2007. Cavel International shut down its Dekalb, Illinois, facility after a circuit court upheld a state law prohibiting the slaughter of horses for human consumption. (An Illinois state representative has proposed reopening the plant.) Before that, the few remaining operations closed after Congress barred the USDA from spending federal fund to inspect horse slaughterhouses—no inspection means no meat.
And no meat is bad news for lovers of the taste of sweet freedom. Happily, however, that might be changing:
Montana passed a bill last year that allows horse slaughterhouses to be built in the state. Now, similar bills in Missouri and Tennessee are moving forward.
This despite the efforts of none other than Mr. Willie Nelson, the famous country musician and marijuana martyr, who has said,
“We ride horses in America, we don’t eat them.”
That's some sound logic there. We can't do both! But wait-- the logic continues:
“My friends and I supported efforts that shut down foreign-owned horse slaughterhouses in the United States, and we continue to work to pass the federal Prevention of Equine Cruelty Act (HR 503/S 727), which would ban horse slaughter and prevent horses from being hauled outside of the United States for slaughter."
Ah, yes. Foreign-owned. Those dirty foreigners, with their bizarre ways of doing things. And with their dirty money. They're taking over America, one horse slaughtering plant at a time. Only strange people from other, backward cultures, would eat horses. It's barbaric!

Sorry, I seem to have gotten on a bit of a soapbox there but for crying out loud I had some of the best food of my life on my trip to Spain and France, and it pains me to think that I don't have access to that same delicious food here in America because a few powerful people feel icky about foreigners and about eating an animal they think should be ridden, and ridden only.

Back to Ms Cyrus: I hope she didn't stop at the bottle of Corona. I hope she had some jamon, and some horse meat.

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