A small sample of Mr. Cade's prose:
Dean exploded. Nothing made him froth with anger like a young man sans purpose. He hurled the feral boy into the city’s prized Umbrella Man statue.
“Stop panting like a tart in the throes of climax! Why do you run about like such a lummox? Answer me!”
A semblance of calm washed over the teen. The allusion to coitus was above his head, but Dean’s eloquence somehow hit the right note.
“Dude, it’s totally f*cked up and sh*t. That chick who took a sh*t in the Olympics or whatever escaped from the zoo. She’s wearing super-skates that give her powers and sh*t.”
Dean grew icy silent. The stammering idiot-boy couldn’t recall the name of “that chick,” but Dean would never forget.
“Harding,” Dean said. “Tonya Harding.”
Dean stared blankly at the feral teen. More memories came, this time like floodwaters.Whole thing, probably NSFW but worth reading (especially for those with any knowledge of Portland), can be found here.
In 1994, when Harding engineered the demise of skating nemesis Nancy Kerrigan, the ensuing media frenzy got the best of Dean. In an attempt to scoop the Tacoma Blowhole and get the fabled Harding story to the wire, Dean fabricated a few details about the deflowered skater’s personal life.