Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Jennifer Aniston just insulted your sister, your cousin, your aunt, your wife

Remember Jennifer Aniston? For awhile, she was extremely popular. She was on an annoying television situation comedy called "Friends," with an irritating theme song and facile, shallow characters who inhabited a make-believe cutesy-poo "New York" in which everyone lived in nice apartments regardless of their income and everyone looked the same.

They were the six most annoying people on television, but at least they were all in one place. By not watching the show, you could avoid them all at once.

But their reach was long. The show had "influence." For instance, a lot of women emulated the hairstyle of Ms. Aniston's annoying character, Rachel. It was called "The Rachel."


I'm no Mr. Blackwell, but I never particularly cared for the haircut. It's not bad, but, eh.

I was in the minority on that opinion. There was a period in the '90s during which it seemed every other woman had that cut. They liked it. They liked it enough to get their hair done like that. To present themselves in public with that particular style on their head. Every day. They did this, even though a lot of other people were doing it.

That says a lot. People must have really liked the look.

To those people, Jennifer Aniston, the very paragon of class and dignity, says, "Eff you."
One hairstyle Aniston never wants to replicate? The Rachel. She told writer Danielle Pergament, "I love Chris, and he's the bane of my existence at the same time because he started that damn Rachel, which was not my best look. How do I say this? I think it was the ugliest haircut I've ever seen."
Your sister, your aunt, your cousin, your girlfriend at the time, your wife -- anyone you care about who had that hairstyle, who chose to get that look because they liked it, and they were fans of Ms. Aniston and her character to such a degree that they wanted to, in some small way, actually look like her -- has just been insulted by a mystifyingly popular, privileged jerk.

Ms. Aniston's snotty quote is taken from Allure, which features some photos of Ms. Aniston now. Here is one:


Does Ms. Aniston actually like this look? She approved it -- Allure can't have tricked her; she's a big movie star. Again, I'm no Mr. Blackwell, but -- does she really think that this look is better than what she was sporting back in the '90s?

Think about what she said. "How do I say this? I think it was the ugliest haircut I've ever seen."

That pause at the beginning: "How do I say this?" She is carefully choosing her words. She's a thoughtful woman. She wants to make sure that she gets her point across clearly and exactly. The next statement to follow that question will be unequivocally what she intends to say. These words shall have weight. They will be meaningful. She wants to ensure she says what she means, let there be absolutely no misunderstanding. And then:

"I think it was the ugliest haircut I've ever seen."

This woman lived in Los Angeles for a long time. She has met literally thousands of people, all over the world. She's met balding men with combovers. She's met people with fauxhawks. Mullets. People who've had lines shaved into their heads.

But it's "The Rachel," the haircut that your sister, your cousin, your aunt, your girlfriend, your wife loved so much that they themselves just had to have it, that Jennifer Aniston says is "the ugliest haircut [she's] ever seen."

On behalf of all of those women you just insulted, Ms. Aniston: Eff you. And your new haircut.

5 comments:

Miss Malevolent said...

Nah I have to give her credit. It was a hideous hair-do. And it stupefied me that so many people emulated the look. It was horrendous.

Now this look isn't much better, but she is safe because more than likely it's just an ugly wig.

And most people of the male persuasion (and some females) won't be looking at the top of her head in that photo anyway.

Kudos to her for admitting that Rachel-do did her no favors.

Made her look like she had a watermelon for skull.

Ricky Sprague said...

If she'd said something like, "That hairdo did me no favors," and left it at that, then she'd be fine. But why the resentment hyperbole?

I think that haircut was a big part of her success on that show. I think it had a lot to do with her becoming the "breakout" star of that show.

A.Jaye said...

How old is she and what's she doing with a teddy bear?

I thought it was just the British who had a paedophile culture.

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