Thursday, January 13, 2011

Waitasecond -- you mean I'm not a Sagittarius?

I've often wondered why astrology is total bullshit. It turns out, we've been using the wrong signs and dates!
Astronomer Parke Kunkle told NBC News this week that the Earth's changing alignment in the last 3,000 years has prompted new consideration of the sign into standard zodiacs.

In fact, the sign you are born into now are different than what you've been led to believe your entire life.

Kunkle  said: "This is not something that happened today. This has gone on for thousands of years," says Kunkle. "Because of this change of tilt, the Earth is really over here in effect and Sun is in a different constellation than it was 3,000 years ago."

Under the revised zodiac, the following dates would apply:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
So much wonder in the piece quoted above. First of all, that sentence I emphasized contains a lovely double "Kunkle said," and "says Kunkle." So you know that Kunkle said it. And he says it.

Second, astronomer Kunkle. If you really are an astronomer, must you attempt to give an air of legitimacy to the nonsense that is astrology? Don't you have something serious to look into?

Like, scanning the sky for killer asteroids?
 
And "Ophiuchus" sounds like the medical term for the expulsion of certain fluids from the body. It doesn't sound classy, the way the other signs do.

Oh how angry this makes me. This fills me with such fine indignation that I don't know what I will do,  beyond gnashing my teeth. 
 
I would like to say "Ophiuchus You!" to the astrologers.
 
Anyway, for a nice overview of everything that's wrong with astrology (including the fact that it should have thirteen signs instead of twelve, and that the signs would all be different now based on the movements of the earth!), please read here.

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