Monday, March 28, 2011

Charlie Sheen's less-than-sellout performance is probably a metaphor for our current financial crisis, somehow

When I read that Charlie Sheen's tour, performance art piece, whatever it was supposed to be had sold out performances (in a record-breaking 18 minutes, according to TMZ!), I admit I got a little down about it. Sure, I enjoyed watching a few minutes worth of Mr. Sheen's strange interviews, and blogged about them,  but, really, there's a point at which it's just tedious and let's move on.

I had a hard time imagining sitting still and watching him for 80 minutes. Especially when stories of what he was actually planning for these performances started coming out:
"It's all Charlie. I don't think it's a script, as much as he is going to riff like an artist...He will probably do most of it from memory, he's that talented."
"There will be some multimedia, but largely just him and a microphone and he's going to talk, and having heard some of the stuff he is going to say, people are going to be pleasantly surprised. There will be some things that are shocking and provoking, but you're going to laugh," he [Joey Scoleri, one of the show's producers] added.
Does that sound like fun to you? Or does it sound like that Carnegie Hall "MARVEL-ous Evening with Stan Lee" debacle?

To me it seemed like a tedious waste of time. Think about what it's like to attend a live event. You have to get ready to go. Drive to the venue. Find parking. Pay for parking. Walk to the venue. Watch the show. Go back to your car. Fight your way out of the parking area. Drive home.

That is a big commitment. We're not just talking about 80 minutes. We're talking about hours of your life committed to watching a very wealthy, privileged son of a massively famous actor father, a man who has never had to work a real job in his life, "riff" -- the man doesn't even respect you enough to actually prepare anything, apparently -- and take questions from the audience for 80 minutes -- about how terrible it is that he got fired from his $100 million-a-year job.

These people are suckers, I thought. It depressed me, a little, because I don't like to see people taken advantage of, even if it is their own damn fault. I am an optimist, and I generally have a positive view of humanity.

Well, today, I don't feel quite so down.
In case you're worrying that the entire nation has gone nutty and bought tickets to see what will pass for a performance from what many consider a very troubled man, turns out a lot of tickets were not bought by fans. They were bought by secondary sellers.

A lot.

The theater in Detroit only holds 5,049 people, but when I checked Stubhub last night, just this one site alone had 1,449 tickets available for the show! Even more surprising (maybe), many tickets are selling for LESS THAN FACE VALUE.
So the tickets were bought by "investors" who overestimated Mr. Sheen's appeal. But these "investors" then created a false impression of success for everyone, most especially Mr. Sheen himself, who seemed to think that the entire country would support a full-on tour. So a full tour has been mounted.

This is probably a metaphor for our current financial situation, but I'm not smart enough to make a connection like that. For now, let me just be relieved that the speculators were wrong in this case, that there aren't millions of people all over America who are anxious to watch Charlie Sheen walk around on a stage and "riff."

The world is starting to make sense again!


The image above was taken from here, a story from March 18 which leads with the following:
Charlie Sheen’s “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” ticket sales are so winning, that he has decided to add 12 more cities to his tour! Included in the additional shows, the 45-year-old actor will be invading Canada, taking it to the international level!

So where is Charlie taking his tiger blood now?

Boston, Atlantic City, Washington D.C., Atlanta, Tampa and Ft. Lauderdale Fla., Dallas, Houston, Denver, San Francisco and two Canadian stops have been added as of now — Toronto and Vancouver.
Oops.

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