Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dr Drew is a noble doctor with nearly 30 years of medical experience

Moanday April 4th -- the day in which American television news talk finally got real. Dr Drew Pinsky, that human skunk, started his new talk show on HLN. A network which includes in its lineup Nancy Grace, Joy Behar, and Jane Velez-Mitchell actually got worse. It's downright mind bending.

On Dr Drew's first show, he announced his purpose in a long and self-serving monologue that sounded like a whiny little punk kid trying to explain why what he was doing wasn't actually teasing -- he was trying to help the fat kid in the back row.

"The human experience. I'm fascinated by that. Why we do what we do, and I'll have an opinion. I'll express it, you can expect that. Now, for those of you that say I can't diagnose at a distance, I've been practicing medicine for nearly 30 years -- I have experienced and I've studied hundreds -- let's say thousands of cases. It's what I do. And I want to start a dialogue about what concerns you, my viewers. We'll address it professionally, and we'll get it right. I intend to make a difference."

He sounds awfully noble for a complete as shole, huh?

Dr. Drew spent the first 30 minutes of his new ongoing dialogue about what concerns us discussing Charlie Sheen.

The most played-out topic in America. Then again, if you want to get into the psyche of an as shole, you ask an as shole. (Long story short: Charlie Sheen's troubled.)

Among the guests in his Charlie sheen segment(s) was Kacey Jordan. You remember her, right? She supposedly tried to commit suicide. Or, she just partied really, really hard. Either way, it was Dr Drew doing what he does best -- his medical specialty is exploitation.

Speaking of which, his next segment involved bullying victim Alye Pollack. This girl, of whom I'd never before heard, recorded an anti-bullying video that really moved one of Dr Drew's segment producers.

"How can you not be moved by that video?" Dr Drew asked. He then had a painfully awkward conversation with the girl from the video, and her mother. "Sometimes the greatest wisdom comes from young people in my opinion. What do you think needs to be done about the problem of bullying?" he asked her.

Her wisdom? "It completely needs to end."

For those of you keeping track at home, Dr Drew thinks Charlie Sheen is troubled, and he's against bullying. Again, how did we get along without this show?

In his final segment, Dr Drew interviewed Sammy Hagar. I kind of like Sammy Hagar. Why did he have to do this show?

Oh, heck. Sammy Hagar thinks he was abducted by aliens. Or, he had something "downloaded" from his brain. Again, I say: Oh, heck.

Here's how I want to remember Mr. Hagar:

Not with that Whitley Streiber/Communion nonsense.

To heck with you, Dr Drew. You almost ruined Sammy Hagar for me.


A.Jaye said...

A network with Nancy Grace and her bitch Jane having thier own shows? Its got to be funnier than Comedy Central.

"for those of you that say I can't diagnose at a distance..."

At least he admits to being a quack.

Ricky Sprague said...

A.Jaye, when I heard him say that bit about "diagnosing at a distance," I laughed out loud.

Comedy gold.

Except, of course, that this guy is taken seriously and has actually had power over his "patients."

Tragedy gold.

And, yes, what does it say about a network when Joy Behar is the least obnoxious host they've got?