Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oh, Sarah Miller of Article Writing Services, why don't you want me?

Back on April 18th, I received a very important email. We Love childmurderingrobot.blogspot.com!‏, was one of the best subject lines for any email I've ever received. Of course I couldn't resist clicking on it and reading:
Dear Ricky,

My name is Sarah from Article Writing Services. We have a client who would like to pay you for the opportunity to sponsor a blog post that you have recently written. We know that blogs can be expensive to run and our client would like to opportunity to support you in that endeavor.

In return our client is asking for one link that they specify placed into the body of the blog post(no porn or gambling). Feel free to contact me with any concerns or clarifications you may have.

If you would have any questions or would like to start the process, please email me at sarah@article-writing-services.org so we can begin.

Sincerely,

Sarah Miller
Outreach Manager - Article Writing Services
How beautifully lovely and flattering. Except, of course, for the "no porn or gambling" part. I do occasionally write about pornography, although I haven't, as far as I can remember, written about gambling. Or, maybe I have, in the "life-is-a-gamble" kind of way.

I checked the website mentioned, Article-Writing-Services.org. Hm.
We offer completely free writing services. Our team of talented writers will craft an article with your site and readership in mind, tailored to your requests. What's in it for us? In our articles, we will mention some of our clients' websites which are topically relevant. You get top-notch, free content, and we increase awareness for our clients.
It reminded me a bit of the classic Ian Dury song "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll," in which he sings,

Don't do nothing that is cut price
You know what that'll make you be

Anyway, I don't get it. So I googled them. The first hit was from blog called Casey Jerk, in Mr. Jerk's "About" section, someone posted the email that I received from Sarah Miller as a comment. Someone else called "Tinsel & Tine" (Oh how I do dislike ampersands!) posted that she had availed herself of Article-Writing-Services.org's services, and provided a link to her content, on her blog.

Said post is entitled "The Best Book to Film Adaptations." The list features The Princess Bride, A Clockwork Orange, The Big Sleep, and High Fidelity, but not Lon Chaney's The Phantom of the Opera and The Hunchback of Notre Dame or James Whale's Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein or The Mark of Zorro or Vertigo or Fantomas or Cockfighter or Miami Blues or The Wizard of Oz or The Tenant or Deliverance or Double Indemnity or The Grifters or my taste is better you get the idea. It does what "top ten lists" are supposed to do, which is irritate people in an attempt to get them to click on your site (I do think that Goodfellas, Strangers on a Train, and The Silence of the Lambs are all good choices).

Other than amazon links to the books in question (did Viking, for instance, pay for that mention of A Clockwork Orange -- a terrific book by the way?), the article features links to sites with information about becoming a sonogram technician, and getting a degree in social work. So that's how Article-Writing-Services.org rolls.

The next google hit was from a blog called There is Grandeur in this View of Life (which is an hilariously overripe and portentous title for a blog and I like that very much). The authoress behind that blog, Goofy Girl, received exactly the same email I did, but it was addressed to "Goofy Girl," instead of "Ricky," in a nice, personalized touch that I admit hurt my soul -- I thought Ms. Miller only had a yearning for my words.

Ms. Girl imagines replying to what I've now come to decide is nothing but a spam email:
Thank you for your generous offer. You had me right up until your caveat of "no porn or gambling." It's what pretty much killed it for you. "Free, interesting content" for my readers... but no porn or gambling? I think that might be downright impossible, but feel free to send me some of your writing samples to review and I will let you know if you're worthy of being an addition to my blog, I should warn you though... it'll cost you.
I'm not sure if Ms. Girl actually sent her reply, but I wrote one myself and sent it to Ms. Miller:
Dear Ms. Miller,
Many thanks for the kind words about my blog. Can I ask specifically which post it is that your client wishes to sponsor? Who is the client? Would this be a one-time thing, or would there be more such opportunities in the future?

I visited article-writing-services.org and I admit I'm a bit confused. Your organization represents writers who create content for websites, correct? Do you hire bloggers to create this content, or do you use blogs to help your clients sell their products?
With such an obsequious response, I thought for sure Ms. Miller would be unable to resist me. My plan, of course, was to win her confidence slowly, with an email correspondence that might last for a few weeks. Perhaps awkwardly at first, but gradually Ms. Miller and I would become much more than email friends. Eventually, I hoped to get her interested in porn and gambling.

But it's been two weeks and... no response. So again I ask the question that heads this blog post: Oh, Sarah Miller of Article Writing Services, why don't you want me?

Bonus: Video of Ian Dury and the Blockheads performing "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll":

11 comments:

Corey said...

Thank you so much for this article. I just got the same exact email from her that you did. The first thing I did was google her - and your post was the FIRST thing that came up. I suspected as much! Thanks for the heads up!

Ricky Sprague said...

Corey, you and I are members of a very sad club. You're welcome, and I'm sorry.

Subi said...

"she" sent me this email:
Dear ....,

My name is Sarah from Article Writing Services. We have a client who would like to pay you for the opportunity to post some of their content on your website. All of the content is professionally produced and you can select from pieces relevant to your audience.

The result is you get some free, interesting content for your readers while getting paid. In return our client is asking for one link that they specify at the bottom of the content (no porn or gambling). Feel free to contact me with any concerns or clarifications you may have.

If you would like to see some examples of our content, please email me at sarah@....ervices.org so we can begin.

Sincerely,
Sarah Miller
Outreach Manager - Article Writing Services

Ruben Roel said...

:( I felt so honored by Sarah since her e-mail was so personalized she wanted to pay me to post some articles in my site at tek-bull.com but after replying several times and not receiving any response I gave up, I knew it was a stupid scam that probably posted articles where every word was a link to other blogs... like an article Link Farm.

But I wanted to learn about it so i could post an article against it lol

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Fantastic article, thank you so much for sharing

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Helen said...

Lot's of people who do SEO (search engine optimization) send such emails to bloggers. But I would like to tell you about different thing. If you want more visitors from Google STOP linking to other websites like crazy, especially to those you don't like, or DO IT CORRECTLY!. I can teach you how.
P.S.: this is one-of-a-kind and just-for-you message :)

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