Thursday, July 21, 2011

Possibly inaccurate headline: Walt Disney promotional stunt goes horribly wrong, adorable bear nearly dies as a result

The AP is reporting that a brown bear recently came perilously close to dying, owing to the fact that it had a jar stuck on its head.
State wildlife officers looked for the bear for three weeks after reports he was caught in the jug. The Knoxville News Sentinel said the male bear was roaming around Newport, in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains.
Here is a photo of the bear with a jar on its head:

The bear's three week ordeal took a tool on its health:
The bear weighed just 115 pounds, about half its expected weight.
Now, I have no proof of this, other than my own suspicions and speculation, but I believe this near tragedy was nothing more than a corporate promotional stunt gone horribly wrong. Look at that timeline. The bear had the jar stuck on its head for about three weeks. Today is July 21. That means that since roughly early July, this poor bear has had a jar stuck on its head.

On July 15th, the Disney company released a new animated film featuring a storybook bear called "Winnie the Pooh."

Did you realize that Disney was releasing this movie? I didn't, until I happened to be standing in the vicinity of a movie theater, and saw the above poster. And I wasn't the only one who was clueless as to this film's existence. It didn't even make $8 million opening weekend. An animated Disney film! It's almost as if the Disney Company made plans to advertise their film, but then had to scrap those plans at the last minute, because something went awry.

Like, for instance, putting a jar on a bear's head. We all know the classic image of the lovable Winnie the Pooh character, struggling to pull a pot of honey (or, "hunny," as Mr. Pooh adorably spells it -- illiteracy is cute!) from off his head.

So, what better way (goes the thinking of the heartless businessmen at the Walt Disney megacorporation) to promote their film product than to put a jar on a bear's head, and send him out into the wild, so that everyone can see him and think, "Oh, won't it be great to see the new 'Winnie the Pooh' movie that's coming out?"

And yet, the bear got away from its corporate masters, and nearly died from starvation and malnutrition.

Regular readers of this blog know that I am not prone to hyperbole, nor am I a "conspiracy theorist." But never in my twenty years of studying corporate malfeasance and conspiracies against consumers have I ever come upon a more compelling piece of evidence that a major corporation was attempting to exploit nature in order to sell its product to the sheeple who mindlessly consume its products.

How many more bears have to suffer before Winnie the Pooh is finally pulled from theaters? Probably not many, actually, given the amount of business the film did opening weekend.

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