Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Gymnastic events we won't be seeing at the Olympics

In honor of the Olympics in general (full disclosure: I haven't watched any of it!) and of the talented American gold-medal gymnast Gabby Douglas in particular, I dug out an article entitled "Gymnastic Events We Won't Be Seeing at the Olympics," which appeared in the September 1996 issue of the old Cracked magazine. It was written by a very young Ricky Sprague, and drawn by a very talented Terry Colon. Please enjoy:


What I find most surprising is that some of these made me laugh today, just now, as I was scanning the pages. Thank you, younger Ricky Sprague and Terry Colon.

Last year, the author Mark Arnold wrote a (two volume!) history of the print version of Cracked magazine entitled If You're Cracked, You're Happy. Even though Mr. Arnold never sent me any copies of the books (and after I wrote him something like 1,000 words worth of rambling recollections!), I still recommend that you read it, if you're interested in the history of Cracked. Or even if you're not interested. Especially if you're not interested.

4 comments:

Miss Malevolent said...

That "real-life pommel horse" cartoon is actually a real thing, it's called, Equestrian Vaulting. And up until the 1920's it was an Olympic Event.

I learned this information on, www.cracked.com (quite a coincidence if it's affiliated with the magazine of the same name)

Here's a link to the article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19951_5-insane-real-sports-they-need-to-add-to-olympics.html

Ricky Sprague said...

I think Cracked.com just bought the name "Cracked." As far as I know, there's no connection between the old magazine and the website, which contains actual factual information (and tons and tons of lists!), as opposed to made-up junk like what I used to put together for them.

I think that all of the events listed in the Cracked post you linked should be in the Olympics. Also, they should have a "marathon TV watching" event, with levels of difficulty based on the shows you have to sit through. But I don't watch the Olympics, anyway.

Iced Borscht said...

There should be an internet meme about that McKaylah chick, who apparently wasn't too happy about receiving a silver medal. Maybe people could juxtapose her dissatisfied countenance against a backdrop of impertinent events e.g. the Holocaust...

Ricky Sprague said...

Nah-- that would never work. People are too clever to fall for something obvious like that.