Saturday, June 10, 2017

Twin Peaks: Don't let Stupor Cooper win!

Cool poster.

The original Twin Peaks was an exciting, unique program that, even in its lesser moments (there were quite a few!) still felt special—even important. This despite the fact that it was a network TV show, and the network suits were messing with it, especially in the second season, when they forced Lynch, Frost, and et. al. to explicitly reveal Laura Palmer’s killer. Those couple of episodes, in which Leland Bob horribly murdered Laura’s cousin Maddie, featured some of the series’ most indelible moments. Whatever Ray Wise was paid it wasn’t enough.

After that, the show began to really develop/explore the mythology of the Black Lodge, going into surprising detail about what was actually happening between this reality and that one. The final episode was half Black Lodge—that stuff was brilliant. Maybe the best portrayal of dreaming ever captured in any work of art. The other stuff, with Doc Hayward seeming to kill Ben Horne, the stuff with the Miss Twin Peaks competition, Annie’s kidnapping, the Nadine Hurley stuff, the stuff with Audrey and the bank bomb, etc, doesn’t make much sense— even less sense than Twin Peaks usually made.

There was a sense that the show was becoming even more remote. The current season seems to be taking everything that might have been accessible about the show and jettisoning it in favor of, uhm, I don’t know.

Apparently, Lynch and Frost wrote the new season as one long 18-hour movie, and Lynch directed everything, then broke the result into one hour chunks. And it shows. None of the episodes feel like individual works. So I’m not sure how fair it is to judge based on what’s happened so far. I’m also not entirely sure what’s been happening so far. It seems to be moving at a simultaneously turgid and breakneck pace. Some things are set up and then completely dropped, presumably to be picked up again later (the stuff with Principal Hastings, for instance, the stuff with Ben Horne’s new secretary Beverly Page), while other things are set up and then paid off almost immediately (the glass box).

It was fun seeing Cooper make it out of the Black Lodge. But since he’s appeared in Las Vegas, taking over the life of “Dougie”, he’s been in a complete stupor. And Stupor Cooper’s storyline is completely inane. Las Vegas is the real world, not the Black Lodge. Someone in such a near-catatonic state would be taken to a doctor by—the people at the casino, his wife, his co-workers—SOMEBODY, for crying out loud. And by the way, I’ve never won $425,000 playing the slots over and over, but do they really just give you he money in cash without taking your information, especially your social security number?

This was a major problem for Twin Peaks, especially in the second half of the second season: It completely lost interest in “reality,” and the non-Black Lodge stuff became, essentially, one damn thing after another storytelling. The “reality” stuff needs to be grounded for the Black Lodge stuff to have any impact. If Stupor Cooper could walk around in such a catatonic state in the real world, then there’s no reason for all the Black Lodge stuff.

Bob Cooper is kind of fun, but again, it seems that Lynch and Frost aren’t all that interested in how the real world works. How is Bob Cooper able to dial into government computer systems? He’s been Bob Cooper for twenty-five years, presumably doing this stuff, so why hasn’t he been caught? How does someone like him stay off the radar? Is it just because he seems to associate entirely with loathsome, depraved rednecks? Since the original Twin Peaks aired the PATRIOT Act has passed, and Obama’s NSA has spied on and “unmasked” millions of Americans. How did Bob Cooper evade that?

Bob Cooper: How has he been able to elude capture for 25 years? Where is the NSA?

What the new show needs is more grounding. Where is Big Ed Hurley? Where is Invitation to Love? The stuff with Wally Brando was a lot of fun (and the best use of Michael Cera since Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World), as was the stuff with the new Sheriff Truman’s wife ranting about the leaky pipes and the bucket. We need more of those moments—and they need to connect to something. 

Matthew Lillard as Principal Hastings has been very good. Hastings has apparently committed a horrible act of brutality without his knowledge or consent, and Lillard has portrayed that confusion and sadness in a surprisingly moving way. Hopefully we’ll get more with Jane Adams’s Constance Talbot, the joking Buckhorn, South Dakota crime scene investigator. The other cameos haven’t made much of an impression on me as yet. But, again, this is an 18-hour movie, not a TV series. Except for the terrible Brett Gelman, who couldn’t get a series on Adult Swim, so he very publicly announced that he was leaving the network because of “the misogyny of their policies.”

The original Twin Peaks premiered in April, 1990. It opened with the discovery of the body of Laura Palmer, the beautiful blond high school girl, wrapped in plastic after having been dumped by the side of a lake. As the series wore on, viewers learned that Laura Palmer was promiscuous, took photos for a skin mag called Flesh World, had an abortion, was a drug addict and so on and so on. Imagine the Mary Sue and Jezebel think pieces that would inspire—the woman whose body is a commodity (packaged in plastic!) who is punished for the sin of exploring her own sexuality. On top of that, Twin Peaks is full of attractive, young women in peril. And the scene in which Maddie is killed is harrowing.

If Twin Peaks were to begin today, it would be think-pieced out of existence. People like Brett Gelman would stroke their chins and complain on social media that David Lynch and everyone else involved in the endeavor hates women. Also, there’s the fact that the Black Lodge stuff borrows heavily from Native American folklore—in other words, it’s cultural appropriation.

Lynch subtly addressed some of this in the scene between his Gordon Cole character and David Duchovny’s Denise Bryson. Cole plans on taking the young, attractive FBI agent Tammy Preston with him to investigate the appearance/arrest of Bob Cooper, and Bryson mentions that Cole has gotten into trouble or nearly gotten into trouble with attractive young women before—a nod to the fact that, indeed, the show and the Fire Walk With Me film experienced some criticism of the portrayal and representation of its female characters. It’s a funny scene, but it’s also a bit sad. In 1990, an artist could be messy, could follow their muse to wherever “problematic” places it might take them—even to a certain extent on network TV. If Twin Peaks were just starting today, none of the artistry and uniqueness would matter to the think-piecers and the social media mobs. If it doesn’t advance their preferred (leftist) narrative, it must be strangled before it can build any momentum.

So my question is, why is Brett Gelman on the show at all? And what do other SJW’s think of it? Actually, scratch that, I don’t really care.


At this point, five episodes in, Twin Peaks is a frustrating, fun experience. Stupor Cooper definitely needs to snap out of it (there was one moment, at the breakfast table when he took a drink of coffee, that I thought he was going to snap out of it, but, alas). I mentioned earlier that I want to see Big Ed, and Invitation to Love, but what the show is really missing is AGENT DALE COOPER, the real Cooper, not Bob Cooper or, most especially, Stupor Cooper. 

Stupor Cooper: Please snap out of it!

It’s entirely possible that it will end up being more fun than frustrating, but I’ll only know that after having watched the full eighteen hours. I understand why Showtime is releasing it as a weekly series. For crying out loud, I added Showtime to my Amazon Prime just so I could watch the show, meaning they’re going to get at least four months’ worth of subscription fees from me. But if ever there was a show that needed to be “binge watched” it’s this.

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